Reviews from

White River Sings

White river sings through my loneliness

30 total reviews 
Comment from karenina
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A treasure chest of undiscovered beauties. This one. THIS one... Beats fists upon my psyche, bows me, cuts me at the knees. What wondrous grace lifted you from swift descent to hell... How sweet salvation!

Karenina

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
    Thanks, K. It beats on my heart also.
reply by karenina on 15-Feb-2022
    That your heart beats at all, after that...

    Miraculous.
Comment from Susan Newell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Tim,

Sorry to take so long to review this. I took some time off from FanStory and it always pays to think about your poems before I review them.

I liked the way you showed the underlying rot of memories of your father and how it pushed you to "succeed" to the point of tempting fate, and then how fate fought back and leveled you. The use of the river speaks to the flow of the stream of life, to Jesus recruiting fishers of men, and to being born again with a new baptism in the river. Exceptional.

Sue

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
    Thanks, Sue. I like the insight about the final insight and renewal in the river echoing into the idea of baptism. I hadn't really consciously thought of that great image, but it's there because you uncovered it! Fantastic review as always. T
reply by Susan Newell on 16-Jan-2022
    You are welcome. Sometimes the subconscious speaks.
Comment from A. Willow Bends
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Amazing piece of writing and I simply came across it reading it three times through. I am glad there are no detailed author notes. It leaves me thinking on my own. You have been on a very long journey and you are a survivor. Well written. Well done. Very well done.
Wendy
A. Willow Bends

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
    Thanks for the great review. Yes, I hate author notes. They don't allow the reader to co-construct the poem. I read one of your pieces recently. I will fan you and maybe we can follow each other.
reply by A. Willow Bends on 16-Jan-2022
    Will fan you right now!
    A. Willow Bends
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Me too with the arthritic knees, though in my mind I still dance.
Suddenly life buckled...great verse with descriptive noise notes to convey the mood. A great write Ted enjoyed the drama and the emotions in this one. Cheers
Valda

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
    Yes, those arthritic knees are killer. Thanks for the great review, Valda.
Comment from mermaids
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love how you are created into a new person by the white water. Your words show nature can have an impact on us. You have a vivid use of words that captures well your journey in life.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
    Thanks for the great review and taking the time to review my work.
Comment from RGstar
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Saturday here without stars, and a pretty god account of a life...some I can relate to.
In your usual style, you give that certain reality.
Another good account....gd piece of writing.
Best wishes.
RGstar

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
    Thanks, RG, for reviewing my work.
reply by RGstar on 19-Jan-2022
    Sorry about my computer keyboard...missing out o and p for some reason. My best wishes.
    RG
Comment from Pamplemousse1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a powerful elegy for lives lived and hopes for the future, who we can become after rebirth. I loved the detail in the haunting images of youth and how one can reinvent themselves in the image of an idea. In the narrator's case, the idea modeled was the negative / negation of the father's cruelty and abuse. This led the narrator in the opposite direction toward a feeling of infallibility, but life does have a way of humbling us all eventually. Then we must restart from scratch with our concept of self. Excellent use of poetic sound devices give this write a great spoken word feeling.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
    YOur reviews are always so meaningful, thorough and insightful. Thank you.
reply by Pamplemousse1 on 19-Jan-2022
    You are very welcome!
Comment from Katherine M. Kean
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Way to go Theo. This is an excellent poem relating the traumatic events encountered by you and your sister in your home life when you were growing up, and showing us the way out to calmness you took.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
    Thanks for your kind review.
Comment from The Journaler
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a great poem, expressing your sorrows over your abusive childhood and your injury. You have found you are much more than that scrap heap--you are imprinted with grace and have much to give. Well done!

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
    Thanks for the great review.
reply by The Journaler on 20-Jan-2022
    You are welcome!
Comment from Ben Colder
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The sound you describe is familiar to my mind. The Madison River in Montanna, an echo of this. The idea at times becomes a giant eraser. Good write. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
    Yes, the river is a great eraser and a place of baptism.