The Writings of a Mouse
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Time"Pieces of my Heart
17 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
I think six stars should be awarded more often (as should one through four). Seeing no errors, combined with writing that makes you feel ... What more should be asked.
Great work. I couldn't think of my mother without tearing up for years.
Even now, I live with knowing that in a moment of clarity when she looked and said my name, I didn't linger, but hurried along. It was her last.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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I think six stars should be awarded more often (as should one through four). Seeing no errors, combined with writing that makes you feel ... What more should be asked.
Great work. I couldn't think of my mother without tearing up for years.
Even now, I live with knowing that in a moment of clarity when she looked and said my name, I didn't linger, but hurried along. It was her last.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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Bless you for understanding. I still tear up and have days where it can?t get her off my mind. She was my best friend. Thank you so much for the kind review!
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You're welcome.
Comment from Terry Broxson
This is a very personal and painful story, and yet a good story for this contest, good luck. I am thinking about the writing, not the circumstances, you let it all hang out there as a good writer should. Good work.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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This is a very personal and painful story, and yet a good story for this contest, good luck. I am thinking about the writing, not the circumstances, you let it all hang out there as a good writer should. Good work.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much! My emotions are still raw and it I guess it shows. Thank you for the kind review!
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Nothing is surprising, love and obligation can make a child to do even something more serious, you cared and dared to write a letter just after your mom had died, you could not bear the pains, heart, stomach, throat and chest ached as you missed your mom so much; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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Nothing is surprising, love and obligation can make a child to do even something more serious, you cared and dared to write a letter just after your mom had died, you could not bear the pains, heart, stomach, throat and chest ached as you missed your mom so much; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
Comment Written 11-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
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Dear Alcreator, thank you for your kind words and your review.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
A story about belonging, grief and survival in a world without your mom, regrets that you have not been there at the final hour. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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A story about belonging, grief and survival in a world without your mom, regrets that you have not been there at the final hour. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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Iza, Thank you so much for your kind words and feedback.
Comment from SimianSavant
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. There is no replacing that.
I don't see anything that needs to be added or distracted from this piece, except for one letter. Your last word should be breathe. (Not breath).
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. There is no replacing that.
I don't see anything that needs to be added or distracted from this piece, except for one letter. Your last word should be breathe. (Not breath).
Comment Written 07-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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Thank you so very much for your review and for your kind words.
Comment from Mary Shifman
This is so sad. Maybe she was trying to protect you or maybe she was protecting herself from having to experience your grief. Sometimes seeing others suffer is worse than our own. I don't know. I'm sorry you had to go through this. Perhaps in time you can work through it and forgive her.
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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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This is so sad. Maybe she was trying to protect you or maybe she was protecting herself from having to experience your grief. Sometimes seeing others suffer is worse than our own. I don't know. I'm sorry you had to go through this. Perhaps in time you can work through it and forgive her.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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Thank you for your review and your understanding. Yes. I think she was trying to spare me but in doing so she inadvertently hurt me even more. Thank you so much for the review!
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is an excellent story about confronting the death of one of the most important people in your life. You have clearly got across how hard and painful it is.
A little aside. What is a stanger please?
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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This is an excellent story about confronting the death of one of the most important people in your life. You have clearly got across how hard and painful it is.
A little aside. What is a stanger please?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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Yikes 😱 a terrible typo! It?s supposed to be a STRANGER. Spellcheck obviously failed me. Thank you for the kind review.
