The Writings of a Mouse
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Time"Pieces of my Heart
17 total reviews
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Because of my faith and teachings, I am certain there is life after death. People we miss, themselves, have been rediscovering friends and family they have missed and a joyous occurs repeatedly. Death is but nature's sleep. In immortality death reigns never again.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2022
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Because of my faith and teachings, I am certain there is life after death. People we miss, themselves, have been rediscovering friends and family they have missed and a joyous occurs repeatedly. Death is but nature's sleep. In immortality death reigns never again.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2022
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Thank you for your kind review and your words of inspiration! I do believe in life after death.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Love your story, your true feelings, regarding your mom and her sad passing. I can see you were hurt by her decision but probably she did not want to hurt you any more than she already had. Sometimes it is difficult to see the WHY but after you wrote this story, I'm hoping it somehow released some of the pain, anguish.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Love your story, your true feelings, regarding your mom and her sad passing. I can see you were hurt by her decision but probably she did not want to hurt you any more than she already had. Sometimes it is difficult to see the WHY but after you wrote this story, I'm hoping it somehow released some of the pain, anguish.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Thank your for the excellent review! Yes, this did help me purge some of my hurt and anger but it?s taken the better part of five years for me to recover from her death. I don?t think it would have been nearly as painful if I had been given the chance to say goodbye.
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The pen and paper will never know what effect it has when it comes to our feelings. It relieves pressure.
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Thank you Rosemary. For your review and for your kind understanding.
Comment from Bill Schott
This letter, Time, is a poignant admonishment of a mom who chose to bear her pains alone and not bring her loved ones in on what bthey could not change.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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This letter, Time, is a poignant admonishment of a mom who chose to bear her pains alone and not bring her loved ones in on what bthey could not change.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Thank you for understanding exactly how betrayed I felt.
Comment from nomi338
I will not attempt to preach to you. If you are not already religious, you woill probably not want to hear about God and promises he made to comfort those who mourn dead loved ones. However, if you are open to it, I would suggest that you consult the scriptures to learn about the promises that God who has never failed, has made to resurrect ones who have died but remain alive in his memory. God cannot lie, because he has the power to make anything he says happen, just as he says they will. This despite the claims of Satan the Devil or his human puppets. Take heart, you can see your mother again.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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I will not attempt to preach to you. If you are not already religious, you woill probably not want to hear about God and promises he made to comfort those who mourn dead loved ones. However, if you are open to it, I would suggest that you consult the scriptures to learn about the promises that God who has never failed, has made to resurrect ones who have died but remain alive in his memory. God cannot lie, because he has the power to make anything he says happen, just as he says they will. This despite the claims of Satan the Devil or his human puppets. Take heart, you can see your mother again.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Thank you my brother. I do believe. I know I will see her again. That belief keeps me going everyday. God bless you. Thank you for the kind words and review.
Comment from GeraldShuler
I went through almost identical emotions when my mother passed away. You let me shed tears I had not yet shed. Thank you for your moving entry. It flowed very well indeed.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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I went through almost identical emotions when my mother passed away. You let me shed tears I had not yet shed. Thank you for your moving entry. It flowed very well indeed.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Thank you Gerald! It has been the hardest time of my life. I don?t know about you but I almost wish I had lost a limb instead.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
As I read this contest entry, I could feel the pain. It's hard losing a parent. I know. This is good writing, just keep an eye on your use of 'that'. Good luck with the contest.
How can you love freely when you fear that that which you love the most will be torn from you at any time? (At least one 'that' needs to be omitted. Maybe just rewrite the sentence.)
How do you open yourself up to love when you fear the pain of loss so much that you joke and pretend you don't really need anyone but you are really terrified of being alone? (you can omit 'that')
Rare is the moment that goes by when I don't think of you. (Try something like . It's rare a moment by when I don't think of you. )
I pray that you have forgiven me for not being there for you. (you can omit 'that')
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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As I read this contest entry, I could feel the pain. It's hard losing a parent. I know. This is good writing, just keep an eye on your use of 'that'. Good luck with the contest.
How can you love freely when you fear that that which you love the most will be torn from you at any time? (At least one 'that' needs to be omitted. Maybe just rewrite the sentence.)
How do you open yourself up to love when you fear the pain of loss so much that you joke and pretend you don't really need anyone but you are really terrified of being alone? (you can omit 'that')
Rare is the moment that goes by when I don't think of you. (Try something like . It's rare a moment by when I don't think of you. )
I pray that you have forgiven me for not being there for you. (you can omit 'that')
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much for the great review and for the grammar tips! I can always use them! 😊
Comment from BethShelby
This is a heart wrenching story. I'm not sure what it was that your mom didn't tell you other than that she was dying. I see that you loved your mother very much, and you hadn't expected her to die so soon. I wish your story had given a few more details about what has you so upset. Many people who are dying don't want to put their loved ones through the stress of knowing. word of a blood stanger (stranger)
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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This is a heart wrenching story. I'm not sure what it was that your mom didn't tell you other than that she was dying. I see that you loved your mother very much, and you hadn't expected her to die so soon. I wish your story had given a few more details about what has you so upset. Many people who are dying don't want to put their loved ones through the stress of knowing. word of a blood stanger (stranger)
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much for the kind review. My mom had kidney disease and knew she was terminal and I was living out of State. She let me believe she was doing okay until the time of our birthdays when I was scheduled to come home then I got an emergency call that she was dying. No warning. No chance to say goodbye.
Thank you for pointing out the spelling error I thought I corrected and not holding it against me!
Comment from LJbutterfly
This letter to your mom pierced my heart as it brought back the pain and memories of my own mom who left me when she was only 73. You included questions and things you didn't understand, love, anger, longing, and regret...all the emotions experienced after the death of a loved one. You skillfully told your story without the basic step-by-step narrative. Well done. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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This letter to your mom pierced my heart as it brought back the pain and memories of my own mom who left me when she was only 73. You included questions and things you didn't understand, love, anger, longing, and regret...all the emotions experienced after the death of a loved one. You skillfully told your story without the basic step-by-step narrative. Well done. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much for your kind review and my deepest condolences for your loss. My mother was only 73 as well. Far too young. I appreciate your well wishes in the contest. Blessings.
Comment from Spitfire
Heart breaking, Ramona. I'm so sorry for your loss. Since Moms held us in her womb for nine months, we literally are a piece of her and vice versa. Easy to understand why you would fear to love again. Splendid use of parallel structure with the three 'How' questions. By writing about your anger at yourself and others I hope you found the solace you need.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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Heart breaking, Ramona. I'm so sorry for your loss. Since Moms held us in her womb for nine months, we literally are a piece of her and vice versa. Easy to understand why you would fear to love again. Splendid use of parallel structure with the three 'How' questions. By writing about your anger at yourself and others I hope you found the solace you need.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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Bless you and thank you for your understanding and kind review. This is very much the work of my raw emotions. Thank you for appreciating it.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a good job expressing your thoughts and feelings about your mom and her passing. You gave readers insight as to the family dynamics.
Yes, one's life is forever changed when a loved one passes.
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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You did a good job expressing your thoughts and feelings about your mom and her passing. You gave readers insight as to the family dynamics.
Yes, one's life is forever changed when a loved one passes.
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 13-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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Jenny, thank you so much for you kind thoughts and insight into my piece. Bless you.
