When I Am Gone
A poem52 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
A poem
When I Am Gone
PoeticXscape
Your poem is well worth reading with excl lent rhyming Britten by
a not a greatly educated man but I know well enough.
The struggles of human life and the healing of its love.
Gert
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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A poem
When I Am Gone
PoeticXscape
Your poem is well worth reading with excl lent rhyming Britten by
a not a greatly educated man but I know well enough.
The struggles of human life and the healing of its love.
Gert
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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thank you
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PoeticXscape
You are welcome
Comment from Spangle
It is a wondrous thing when others appreciate and want to preserve a poet's work. Part of us stays behind when we have written down the things residing in our hearts. I enjoyed reading this very much.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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It is a wondrous thing when others appreciate and want to preserve a poet's work. Part of us stays behind when we have written down the things residing in our hearts. I enjoyed reading this very much.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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thank you
Comment from Ben Colder
Amazing how and what we think about before departing this world when nothing matters of worth. Where we spend eternity is all that matters. I was thinking about the first poet doing O'Pioneer and his thoughts.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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Amazing how and what we think about before departing this world when nothing matters of worth. Where we spend eternity is all that matters. I was thinking about the first poet doing O'Pioneer and his thoughts.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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thank you
Comment from pookietoo
This poem is well written and rhymed nicely. It sounded like the poem came from your heart. Keep up the great work writing poems. Have a wonderful weekend.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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This poem is well written and rhymed nicely. It sounded like the poem came from your heart. Keep up the great work writing poems. Have a wonderful weekend.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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thank you
Comment from Rachel L
Very lovely PoeticXscape, I enjoyed this very much. I especially like your last verse, "I was not born to enjoy the pleasures you endure, My emotions overwhelm me furthermore" well done.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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Very lovely PoeticXscape, I enjoyed this very much. I especially like your last verse, "I was not born to enjoy the pleasures you endure, My emotions overwhelm me furthermore" well done.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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thank you
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Yes, this has great potential! The title is plain but it tells the beginning of the poetic story.
I love what you have to say and the descriptions are very good.
I feel that the rhythm is shakey in a few of the parts toward the end.
Sometimes, like the very last line, the words go on too long.
I hope you don't mind my honesty it is what I believe you want to hear.
Have a great afternoon,
Jesse
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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Yes, this has great potential! The title is plain but it tells the beginning of the poetic story.
I love what you have to say and the descriptions are very good.
I feel that the rhythm is shakey in a few of the parts toward the end.
Sometimes, like the very last line, the words go on too long.
I hope you don't mind my honesty it is what I believe you want to hear.
Have a great afternoon,
Jesse
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
-
thank you
Comment from rspoet
Hello Poeticxscape,
This is an excellent poem that reads like free verse,
even though it is nicely rhymed in the aabb scheme.
The theme of one's life and soul embedded
in the lines of their poems is one all poets can relate to.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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Hello Poeticxscape,
This is an excellent poem that reads like free verse,
even though it is nicely rhymed in the aabb scheme.
The theme of one's life and soul embedded
in the lines of their poems is one all poets can relate to.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
-
thank you
Comment from MissMerri
You obviously have a great knack for rhyming and I very much enjoyed the creative end-rhymes here. I also liked how your last stanza circled back to the first one, making the poem feel complete. Your theme is lovely as well. I think the poem could flow a little more smoothly if you had embraced a consistent meter, but the message comes through clearly anyway. Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking piece. MM
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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You obviously have a great knack for rhyming and I very much enjoyed the creative end-rhymes here. I also liked how your last stanza circled back to the first one, making the poem feel complete. Your theme is lovely as well. I think the poem could flow a little more smoothly if you had embraced a consistent meter, but the message comes through clearly anyway. Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking piece. MM
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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thank you
Comment from Sophie Terrell
Wonderful! Your rhymes are incredibly advanced and the vocabulary you used is VERY impressive! I also very much like how this poem flows smoothly. Awesome job, keep up the good work!
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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Wonderful! Your rhymes are incredibly advanced and the vocabulary you used is VERY impressive! I also very much like how this poem flows smoothly. Awesome job, keep up the good work!
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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thank you
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading your poem. Thank you for sharing it with us. I enjoyed the spot-on rhyming scheme which made for an easy to read flow. The emotions was excellent in this poem.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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I enjoyed reading your poem. Thank you for sharing it with us. I enjoyed the spot-on rhyming scheme which made for an easy to read flow. The emotions was excellent in this poem.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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thank you