Comment from Laurie Holding

Exceptional

This made my day, Paul. Thank you for redeeming the rhymed poem and for making us laugh while reading you. I think humor in poetry needs that snap of rhyme and that perfect meter that you have so obviously mastered. Well don, and I wish you great luck with this one.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021

Thank you, Laurie. I'll try to have some more stuff like this in the future.

Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

Paul,
This shows God as sarcastic and with some sense of humor when giving Pat the bad news that he is not getting into heaven. He was not a nice man on earth, to understate the facts.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021

Thanks for the review, Joan. Wait 'til you see the next one.

reply by dragonpoet on 07-Oct-2021

No problem, Paul.
I?ll be waiting impatiently
Joan

Comment from RPSaxena

Excellent

Hello Paul,
It's a nice piece of Humor Poetry having smooth flow throughout from top to bottom with lovely rhyming scheme.
No room in heaven for such a sinner as you have depicted here in the poem. Interesting Indeed!

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021

Thanks for the review. We're not done with Patrick yet.

reply by RPSaxena on 08-Oct-2021

Paul McFarland, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP

Comment from Sanku

Exceptional

I loved this poem .The theme is so different from te usual ones and i enjoyed reading the short biography of a debauched man...It was sometimes funny ,sometimes maddening...
I haven't read the previous poem .I will try to go back and read

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021

Thanks for the review. There is a third one coming.

Comment from Goodadvicechan

Exceptional

I like this poem. It is a little bit different from other poems. This poem has many interesting twists such as:

"I'll let you off not going to church, though that does cause me pain,"
"you played doctor with that little girl next door...'I'll let that pass,' But you were fifty-four."
" found you drinking with his wife in Kelly's Bar." etc.
Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021

Thanks for the review. You'll see Patrick again.

Comment from writer723

Excellent

I enjoyed this humorous and cleverly written poem. The man's misdeeds and misspent youth were certainly laid bare for him to realize. You have a witty way with rhymes and your rhyme scheme is excellent. Great job!

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021

Thanks for the review. Patrick will return.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Lol. Well, it's a good thing that God sent Jesus so that He can examine all our faults by looking through the lens of Jesus' work on all our behalf. Of course, you didn't mention if Patrick put his faith in Him. Enjoyed your humorous poem about this life and death situation. Considering he's already dead, I thought "hold your breath" comment was extra funny!

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021

Thanks, Helen. You'll get a chance to see Patrick again.

Comment from Janet Foor

Exceptional

LOL!!! I actually had my husband read this one as well which I rarely do and we both laughed again.

A clever and creative story in a poem. Well done Paul.


Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021

Thanks again, Janet. This came up a second time.

Comment from MissMerri

Excellent

This is quite funny, and the perfect meter and consistent rhyming add to the delightful feel of the poem. I enjoyed it very much and think you have a real talent for story-telling in rhyme. Very clever and fun poem, this one. MM

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021

Thanks, MM. Patrick will reappear in a week or two.

Comment from Elizabeth Emerald

Excellent

Brilliant! A wickely witty tour de force in wry humor. Jam-packed with hilarity--priceless phrases--too many to enumerate--a literal LOLOLOL--I needed this!

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 05-Oct-2021

Thanks Liz. Get ready for another one.

reply by Elizabeth Emerald on 06-Oct-2021

Look forward to it! I'm guessing he'll be bargaining with the Devil.

reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021

There'll be some bargaining, but not what you guessed.