Reviews from

House of Pain.

4-line poem. 1-5-5-9. Contest entry.

5 total reviews 
Comment from pharp
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted


AAQIB,

I have been in so much pain in my lifetime that I, too, do not wish to see its face.

Pain in any form of fashion can forget my address. This is an excellent entry for this Four Line writing prompt. Very creative and clever.
Thanks for sharing the very best to you in the contest.

Blessings...Portia

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2021

Comment from RodG
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good personification of Pain as someone the Speaker can address directly.
Good use of irony in line 2. Pain is hardly a "friend." More a constant companion--"a face I wish not to see."
Rod

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2021

Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Punch to the gut--powerful, plain words--no pretension--thanks for that! This may be a winner--forget my address--clever--stunning closer well phrased.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2021

Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I agree. No one wants to be anywhere near him, not to speak of seeing his face! This is an interesting poem. Unusual subject choice. My only suggestion is, make the fonts larger and colour lighter for easy reading:)

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2021

Comment from kmoss
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Here I am leaving you another review to respond to! Ha. Just when you were getting to them. This is a good entry for the four line contest. I like the second line a lot-old, sickly thing describes pain personally.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
    Haha, thank you Krystal. I am glad you liked this one as well. And yes, that is what I imagine pain would be like. Old, pale and sickly; with the power to make everyone it interacts with feel the same way.

    Yeah, I hope this one does well. I never win FanStory contests though. Do better in member contests :-)