Lost
How I Got Lost Riding My Bike5 total reviews
Comment from equestrik
Wow-It is always scary to be lost. I have lived and worked in and around Ogden for over 40 years. I know the area and that would be so scary. All the best to you.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
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Wow-It is always scary to be lost. I have lived and worked in and around Ogden for over 40 years. I know the area and that would be so scary. All the best to you.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
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Thank you.
Comment from Dortmunder
Hi,
How I Got Lost Riding My Bike is a tale anyone can relate to. Every kid walking around today is well familiar with the panic that accompanies the realization you're alone in unfamiliar territory.
However, your story falls flat for me. First of all, Jefferson, Washington, these street names mean nothing and their distance from one another is unclear. Were you just two blocks away, or couple miles? If your mom had to call the cops, how did she know where you were? If she did call the cops, how long did it take her to realize she needed to? It seems to me, if a mother has to call the police to locate her child, there would be a whole lot more tension and panic to the story....
Keep writing :)
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
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Hi,
How I Got Lost Riding My Bike is a tale anyone can relate to. Every kid walking around today is well familiar with the panic that accompanies the realization you're alone in unfamiliar territory.
However, your story falls flat for me. First of all, Jefferson, Washington, these street names mean nothing and their distance from one another is unclear. Were you just two blocks away, or couple miles? If your mom had to call the cops, how did she know where you were? If she did call the cops, how long did it take her to realize she needed to? It seems to me, if a mother has to call the police to locate her child, there would be a whole lot more tension and panic to the story....
Keep writing :)
Comment Written 06-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
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I was a couple of miles away. I don't know what else to write. It probably took her at least an hour to realize she had to call the cops.
Comment from zanya
A young child's sense of fear of being in an unfamiliar setting is very well conveyed here and the sheer sense of relief on returning safely 'to my grandma's house' -
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2021
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A young child's sense of fear of being in an unfamiliar setting is very well conveyed here and the sheer sense of relief on returning safely 'to my grandma's house' -
Comment Written 04-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2021
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Yes, thank you.
Comment from RodG
An eight-year-old riding a bike in a strange city and getting lost would frighten anyone. You tell us how you ultimately got home, but focus more on the DANGER and what you felt when you could not find your way back to Grandma's on your own.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
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An eight-year-old riding a bike in a strange city and getting lost would frighten anyone. You tell us how you ultimately got home, but focus more on the DANGER and what you felt when you could not find your way back to Grandma's on your own.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
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You think I should add more to my story?
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Yes. Describe especially your FEARS when you knew you were lost. What kind of DANGER did you experience? Frightening strangers? Traffic on busy streets?
Comment from Senyai
Hi Mystery Writer,
Oh, no! From a young child's perspective, this is indeed frightening! It brings back memories of my own "lost" experiences that may not sound scary in the retelling but were mortifying at the time.
I love the purple bike with the banana seat photo to enhance your work.
Very original and unique idea for a dangerous experience. Glad you got found by police and taken back home! Without cell phones back in the day, this could have been terribly bad :-(
All the best in the contest,
Senyai
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
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Hi Mystery Writer,
Oh, no! From a young child's perspective, this is indeed frightening! It brings back memories of my own "lost" experiences that may not sound scary in the retelling but were mortifying at the time.
I love the purple bike with the banana seat photo to enhance your work.
Very original and unique idea for a dangerous experience. Glad you got found by police and taken back home! Without cell phones back in the day, this could have been terribly bad :-(
All the best in the contest,
Senyai
Comment Written 03-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
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My parents didn't have cell phones. They used my grandma's phone. Thanks for your Comments.
