Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "Football Chapter 23 part 2"
A mother faces life's struggles.

28 total reviews 
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The issue here is the inheritance that her ex left her. So sorry to hear this happens in a grandparents story but I'm sure it happens in actual life, too. I hope she found herself a good lawyer!

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2021
    It sure does. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from estory
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I thought you did a great job with this chapter. As always, the dialogue was warmly written and the personality, the sense of humor, of the characters keeps shining through, along with their emotions. The ending was also terrific; she gets that abrupt jolt with the serving of those papers but then Gabriel is coming right to her side, and although the tension is rising, we also see and feel that they are growing together as a couple. I thought the one line from Paul about Gabriel needing to not lose Katherine was a great injection of uncertainty, and it keeps us guessing what the outcome of this will be. estory

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Janilou
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

How difficult it is to become involved with someone and wonder if they are going to be the right person for you, and the right person for your children?

It's always difficult to come into a book at such an advanced chapter, but it was easy to read and feel as if I were starting to know the characters.

I didn't see any errors here.
All the best,
Jan

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
    Thank you for dropping by and I hope you do it again. I enjoyed reading your review.
Comment from ShirleyT1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your writing skills are excellent, and you do such an amazing job at telling a story with your written words. I love the dialogue between your well developed characters. I look forward to reading your next chapter.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the encouragements.
Comment from Sanku
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

The race went well and altogether it was a lovely day.But it all ended in an ominous note.This must be the work of the in laws and you have left us wondering what exactly would be their grouse.


 Comment Written 03-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Sometimes, a few hugs and a little smackie mouth can almost make a person forget all about their troubles. Well, if it can't make you forget, then it might stop someone from worrying about them. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    I tend to believe genuine hugs can cure almost any problem. It may not actually cure them, but they help you through it. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Barb,

Nice job - but horrible of you to leave us on such a cliffhanger! Naughty!

The rest was very well done. The descriptions and actions told the tale and made the visualization nice and easy. Kudos!

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

-A good image for your chapter, barbara.
-You describe the race very well, and
there seems to be a good sense of camaraderie
among the runners, even after the race.
-Things also go well at dinner until
the doorbell rang.
-It was good Gabe was there
to offer support for Katherine.
-You did a good job ending with
a cliffhanger, although I am guessing
the in-laws want more money.
-A couple of things:

No commas are needed in these:

son, who's married and has a family [from the previous chapter at the top]

watched, as the boys stretched.
asking, whether she forgave me
If you're asking, if we're dating
*The clauses are needed for meaning, and
the comma isn't required.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    I'm usually told to put in commas. LOL This is new. I must have gotten comma happy. Thank you for the help.
reply by Pam (respa) on 02-Aug-2021
    You are welcome, barbara, it happens to everyone!
Comment from sandramitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

It's her in-laws, isn't it? They are trying to take the children away from her. Well, they can't get away with it, I'm sure Katherine has enough support to back her in court. What a terrible way to end what was a fun day. I loved that it was a longer part!! (Mine are around 1800!) Well done! :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Captivating--rich in detail--as always--characters are continually developed--interactions are rich and believable--stunning ending tantalizes. The evil in-laws lurk.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.