Reviews from

The Fae Nation

Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "You gotta do something"
Still just a germ of an idea that the moment

4 total reviews 
Comment from Adri7enne
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I'm getting insulted for Bob. Isn't it always the way? Try to show a little kindness for anyone and everyone gets on your case - even the recipients of that kindness. Fae are just as foolish as people. Lol! So I wonder what he's expected to do? Have a stand off in his pub? Stand up to the police on his own? Write him out of it! Lol! Well done, Bob. I like your characters.

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2021

reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
    Thanks. Glad you liked it. Yep, don't think anyone is going to end well in this
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Bob,

This chapter was confusing to me. Last we left Peter he was in the living room having tea and crumpets, of a sort, with a husband and wife. Now he has zoomed off somewhere else and we weren't given any reference at all to where he is or what he and his compadre are doing. Confused.

Help? As I got into the chap I certainly understood - mostly - what was going on, but I think we need more of a transition, please.

Thanks so much and now, I believe I am caught up! Thanks for the trip, mister!

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2021

reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
    Maybe I should write more frequently, but you know, football and all that. Engerland! And we all love vindaloo!. A couple of chapters before Creteus sent Peter off with Elmwood to collect subs from various Fae. The Faun chapter started with him trying to remember if this was the 5th or 6th place they had visited. So here he is at yet another sub collection. I can see how this would be confusing a few weeks later, but I think if it's read in one go it sort of flows. I'm deliberately (mostly) alternating human-centric chapters with Fae-centric ones. But when I review the whole thing I shall bear this in mind.

    Thanks for the critical feedback
Comment from Ritasher
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I find the dialogues you write really creative and fun to read. This story doesn't get boring any second even though it's the middle of something and I don't understand it fully :) I chuckled a few times, so it's already way above the average. Good job, keep creating.

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2021

reply by the author on 07-Jul-2021
    I'm flattered. Thanks for your review
Comment from Supe
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm not sure what is going on here so I will just critique on your dialogue and how it is written and your punctuation, sentences, etc.
I couldn't find anything glaring to edit. The dialogue sounded like real people speaking.
Very nicely done.Chapter 22? I guess I will have to check out the others.

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2021

reply by the author on 07-Jul-2021
    You're very kind, thank you. Glad you liked it
reply by Supe on 08-Jul-2021
    you are welcome.