The Chronicals Of Bethica: The Rise
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "The Chronicles Of Bethica"Abram must defeat a deadly humanoid race of beings
13 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Children's stories have made me see pirates the instant crossbones or swords show up on a flag, which probably means there are bad times a coming, with the ship under false duress. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Children's stories have made me see pirates the instant crossbones or swords show up on a flag, which probably means there are bad times a coming, with the ship under false duress. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Thanks again, Rick.
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, very interesting. I don't think I like Dinary. We'll see.
Notes:
Heavy rain and fog plagued the following days; {The crew}
-the crew
["]He is troubled. He pretends he's not. But I know him."
-add
Dinary stared at the waves as if they had the answer he needed.
- start a new paragraph with the above.
["]Good night."
-add
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Hmm, very interesting. I don't think I like Dinary. We'll see.
Notes:
Heavy rain and fog plagued the following days; {The crew}
-the crew
["]He is troubled. He pretends he's not. But I know him."
-add
Dinary stared at the waves as if they had the answer he needed.
- start a new paragraph with the above.
["]Good night."
-add
Comment Written 16-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much. I will see to those corrections.
Comment from Ulla
Wow., Amahra, I think you do know that I'm not into fantasy writing, but I have to say that I was so taken with this. It is so very well written. I was taken in with the scene of his hand healing. It so well writtten. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Wow., Amahra, I think you do know that I'm not into fantasy writing, but I have to say that I was so taken with this. It is so very well written. I was taken in with the scene of his hand healing. It so well writtten. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 16-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much. I know how hard it is to read a genre you're not into; I'm glad you, at least, liked it. I appreciate you very much.
Comment from justafan
Here we are again and what a brilliant chapter this is!
I'm completely spellbound. A lot of important information just came into play with this chapter.
Great work my friend.
Always
Justafan of yours
Missy
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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Here we are again and what a brilliant chapter this is!
I'm completely spellbound. A lot of important information just came into play with this chapter.
Great work my friend.
Always
Justafan of yours
Missy
Comment Written 15-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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Wow, Missy, you flatter me too much. Thank you, my dear. I so appreciate you.
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No dawlin ?just look at your other reviews especially Jay?s. To get a 6 from the ?crit? master should tell you just how special this is!!
Now, go work your magic and bring us another morsel to consume 💕
Comment from Judy Lawless
I used to think I didn't like fantasy stories after I outgrew the ones from my childhood, but in reality, I just hadn't read any. In the past few years, I've begun to read more, and I find them fascinating. You are doing an excellent job with this one, Amahra. It makes me want more.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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I used to think I didn't like fantasy stories after I outgrew the ones from my childhood, but in reality, I just hadn't read any. In the past few years, I've begun to read more, and I find them fascinating. You are doing an excellent job with this one, Amahra. It makes me want more.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much, Judy.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
The killer chain slight memory of a departed brother, a chain that comes and goes as it pleases. I think it might be a spy in disguise. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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The killer chain slight memory of a departed brother, a chain that comes and goes as it pleases. I think it might be a spy in disguise. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Thank you for reading and reviewing and for so many stars. I really do appreciate you.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Your tale continues as the adventurers journey across a lengthy sea.
Romance blossoms in the midst of trial, which is about how things go. Young people's love seems independent of their surroundings.
Some real intrigue enters in with the necklace that burns and then reappears later.
Very interesting...
Great chapter,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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Your tale continues as the adventurers journey across a lengthy sea.
Romance blossoms in the midst of trial, which is about how things go. Young people's love seems independent of their surroundings.
Some real intrigue enters in with the necklace that burns and then reappears later.
Very interesting...
Great chapter,
Rhonda
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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Thank you, Rhonda, for sticking with the story. I really do appreciate you, my dear, and all the stars.
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I?m glad I found your story, and near its beginning! I do appreciate the character summary!
Comment from forestport12
You really make the story interesting for me by the believable dialogue between the husband and wife. You deepen the story with the characters and their interaction. I know, I know, I'm a terrible one to judge this genre, and I'm not good at giving technical corrections. So where does that leave me? I know your writing digs deep and I enjoy to portrait, the characters, etc...The scene you paint in the beginning. You are making me a believer in this genre...
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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You really make the story interesting for me by the believable dialogue between the husband and wife. You deepen the story with the characters and their interaction. I know, I know, I'm a terrible one to judge this genre, and I'm not good at giving technical corrections. So where does that leave me? I know your writing digs deep and I enjoy to portrait, the characters, etc...The scene you paint in the beginning. You are making me a believer in this genre...
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much for reading me. I know how hard it is to read genres one is not a fan of, that's why I work so hard to make it at least interesting. And don't worry about corrections, there's enough grammar police on here, thank goodness. I'm like you, I only rate the content unless some corrections stand out. And thanks again. I appreciate you.
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Amen
Comment from Jay Squires
Wow, this scene was a nail-biter, Amahra. I'd be curious to know the origin of this story. No, not that it was derived! I know it wasn't. But do you simply let your mind wander creatively until something clicks and follow your creative intuition to let the plot develop. It hinges on so much mythology. It has a feeling of the Iliad and Odyssey about it. The characters are deep and layered. Add to that your developed, or innate, or both, talents as a writer.
Here are a few notes I scribbled down as I read:
For months, the proximity on the ship [I keep going beyond this, then return: shouldn't it be "their" proximity on the ship ..." ?]
Her eyes widen at the sight of a blistering burn mark on his chest. [You temporarily lapsed into the present tense here.]
"Its never done that before. [It's needs an apostrophe, as a contraction. Same in the last sentence of this paragraph.]
"Of course, love. I.." [Either add a dot or remove one. Never use only two dots (of course, you know that!)]
Dang, I love your writing!
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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Wow, this scene was a nail-biter, Amahra. I'd be curious to know the origin of this story. No, not that it was derived! I know it wasn't. But do you simply let your mind wander creatively until something clicks and follow your creative intuition to let the plot develop. It hinges on so much mythology. It has a feeling of the Iliad and Odyssey about it. The characters are deep and layered. Add to that your developed, or innate, or both, talents as a writer.
Here are a few notes I scribbled down as I read:
For months, the proximity on the ship [I keep going beyond this, then return: shouldn't it be "their" proximity on the ship ..." ?]
Her eyes widen at the sight of a blistering burn mark on his chest. [You temporarily lapsed into the present tense here.]
"Its never done that before. [It's needs an apostrophe, as a contraction. Same in the last sentence of this paragraph.]
"Of course, love. I.." [Either add a dot or remove one. Never use only two dots (of course, you know that!)]
Dang, I love your writing!
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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Thank you, Jay. I really appreciate the stars and mostly your comments. I will correct those lines.
Comment from royowen
Something extraordinary has happened to Dinary, despite something happening at the "hand" of the necklace, the only keepsake belonging to his brother, burning a hole in his chest and hand, Nutrekka tore the necklace from his neck and cast it into the sea, that made him angry, but he started to realise it was merely a knee jerk reaction, later Ricer is amazed that Gangus has an incredible map from an oracle. Well done, Amahra, great writing, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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Something extraordinary has happened to Dinary, despite something happening at the "hand" of the necklace, the only keepsake belonging to his brother, burning a hole in his chest and hand, Nutrekka tore the necklace from his neck and cast it into the sea, that made him angry, but he started to realise it was merely a knee jerk reaction, later Ricer is amazed that Gangus has an incredible map from an oracle. Well done, Amahra, great writing, blessings Roy
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much, Roy.
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A pleasure
