Reviews from

The Stoneseekers

Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Sigfried - Part B (Ch 27)"
Fantasy novel exploring the nature of Justice.

13 total reviews 
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Poor, sad Sigfried. So much pleasure squeezed into such a short span of time, cannot end well. But he had already had a taste of the Dragon, and once hooked, chased it to that den where lives end in rapture or in misery. Now I know his life doesn't end there, but how it will continue, I cannot fathom.

She reluctatnly told him where he could find Black Dragon.
-->
She reluctantly told him where he could find Black Dragon.

***

Demelza won't be happy, if he can't pay her.


 Comment Written 03-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 04-Jun-2021
    Yeah, I added that part much later as an afterthought - he decides to use the money to buy drugs instead of saving it for Demelza's wages for next week. It adds some tension.
reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 04-Jun-2021
    Sure does!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
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Good job writing and quite a good description of a drug addict getting his fix. Although I don't think most drugs give this much satisfaction. Not quite sure who Sigfried is but he certainly hasn't got the strength of character that Wolf has.

 Comment Written 04-May-2021


reply by the author on 07-May-2021
    Thanks Carol
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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Brilliant depiction of desperate craving--rife with graphic imagery--stunning rendering of fantasy--dreams manifested in reality--I can see why this is addictive.

Opum=>OPIUM? (two places)

 Comment Written 03-May-2021


reply by the author on 07-May-2021
    Thanks Elizabeth,

    I am following the fantasy trope of taking a common thing and changing it slightly. Therefore, opum is correct, instead of our opium. Tolkein, Robert Jordan, and Martin all do this. Not sure why. I am doing it too. I just like the word better.
    Thanks,
    Dave
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Excellent
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Duane:

I would much rather deal with someone in the throes of alcohol than someone in the throes of drugs. I can tell by the look in their eyes. I would prefer not to deal with either, of course. This is a very well-written chapter. I look forward to the next one.

Jan

 Comment Written 02-May-2021


reply by the author on 02-May-2021
    Thanks Jan
Comment from Cindy Warren
Excellent
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Now I'm sure Sigfried is bad news. The dragon will eventually kill him, but it will destroy him, and possibly those around him, first. It's easy to imagine them selling him out to buy more drugs.

 Comment Written 01-May-2021


reply by the author on 01-May-2021
    Cindy,
    Sadly, yes, that is a possibility, but everyone deserves a second chance and a spot at redemption. Then again, he is marked by the pleasure god, Relgash, so that could be a challenge - the age old question of nature versus nurture. We will have to wait and see.
    Best,
    Dave
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Excellent
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Dear Dave, weather this description of the effects of the black dragon is fact or fiction, I do not care. I only care what will happen to Seigfried when the drug wears off. Perhaps he is not even worth saving at this point. Because with this addiction, he is going to be of little to no help, to Wolf, in his stone seeking.

 Comment Written 01-May-2021


reply by the author on 01-May-2021
    Yes, he is a serious problem and a liability to the team. You will notice there are strong characters and weak characters in the novel, but all are flawed in some way. Wolf's "lie the character believes" is that he can not lead, that he lets people down and can not protect those he loves (Atelka, Gwidron). He deals with this at the end of the novel, though I do not promise it was handled skillfully. I suppose you can tell me if it works for you. I tend to underestimate my writing. I am so thrilled at the wonderful responses I have gotten with this novel. It is a dream come true!
    Best,
    Dave

Comment from nomi338
Excellent
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Wow! You skillfully and masterfully created a world, though I have never seen or experienced it, seemed so real that I could see it. The neighborhood, the house, the room, everything. The scene that existed in
Siegfried's drug addled state also seemed and felt 100% real. I can only say, any drug that powerful is a potential killer, because who would not want to stay there once they entered that world. Upon leaving it, they would like Siegfried, would want to hurry back. This is powerful writing talent on full display. I can only reply, Wow!

 Comment Written 01-May-2021


reply by the author on 01-May-2021
    Nomi,
    I greatly appreciate your words.
    Yes, we are fortunate there is no equivalent to Black Dragon in the real world. I guess it would most closely resemble heroin, Viagra, and LSD all mixed together. We are all better off without such a scourge.
Comment from Sherry Asbury
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

As the wife of a crank addict - I learned these things you speak of and write so believably, I can tell you the 6 stars are well-earned. I have been a freelance editor for years and I could not find one flaw. As you described the rats, my cat jumped up to his computer perch and scared me half to heaven, so deeply engrossed was this poet. You manage to make the otherworld language such that the reader can at least guess the meaning. You are a fine writer young sir!

 Comment Written 01-May-2021


reply by the author on 01-May-2021
    Sherry, you have humbled me to tears. Thank you so much for your beautiful review. I will treasure it for years to come!
    (Your cat has a good sense of timing :) - Rats will be featured to an even greater extent throughout the novel. And, as you know from your careful reading of my work, Demelza fears no man, but she does fear rats, fire, and enclosed spaces. I had not intended to do this in the novel, but I realized the other day that she is confronted by all three.)
    Humbly,
    Dave


reply by Sherry Asbury on 01-May-2021
    You will always be the son of my heart and I will read anything with your name on it! Write on warrior...
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
    Thank you!! <3
reply by Sherry Asbury on 01-May-2021
    You are so welcome!!!
Comment from Pj Dennison
Excellent
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Your story is excellent. I really enjoy the descriptive way you bring your characters and setting to life. Reading your writing was pleasurable as well. It was smooth reading, and I could read it at a moderately fast pace with it providing so much colorful imagery. That is what makes a story amazing to me. Great work!

 Comment Written 01-May-2021


reply by the author on 01-May-2021
    Thank you. Your words really help me identify what is working.
    Best,

    Dave
reply by Pj Dennison on 01-May-2021
    You are welcome!
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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It seems like Sigfried's lust for pleasure has overcome any sense of propriety in his life, I like the way you describe the sensations of sensual pleasure derived from this pleasurable but sometimes lethal drug. But I don't think Sigfried has thoughts of self preservation, well done, good second episode, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : Turned the key to enter (the) room.

 Comment Written 01-May-2021


reply by the author on 01-May-2021
    Roy, thank you for your continued support. It is most useful to see how other people interpret the events of the novel. Sigfried is the third son of the Earl, so little attention was given to him, and he is in need of guidance. Wolf would be a good person to help him, but it is unclear if her can save him.
reply by royowen on 01-May-2021
    I think we all need someone to believe in us enough to help us on our way. I was/am one of the lucky ones Dave.
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
    That is wonderful.
reply by royowen on 01-May-2021
    Not even my own dad, heh heh.