Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Football Chapter 14 part 1"
A mother faces life's struggles.

27 total reviews 
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
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Well, this fellow must lift weights and work out whenever he gets a chance. I think Katherine is totally embarrassed with the situation and being she is a teacher, and she knows about student conduct. It's about as bad as walking into a bathroom that's for the opposite sex.

 Comment Written 22-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 23-Apr-2021
    So right. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
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I'd wondered why she freaked out about seeing him in a towel--now all is clear. I await the resolution. You nailed the dialog and continue to develop the characters. Fine work--keep it coming!

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. We will learn a lot more about Katherine coming up.
Comment from Alaskastory
Excellent
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"Football Chapter 14 part 1" is a chapter that moves with an interesting shift as the shower room scene puts both Katherine and Gabriel in a slight conflict together. It looks like a good push forward and makes a reader want to know how it will work out.

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from estory
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Great chapter. The whole thing seethed with underlying tension, right through the dialogue between Gabriel and Katherine. We really see Gabriel trying to reach out to her, and she really hanging back, just unable to step that last bit into a more intimate relationship. We get that she is attracted to him in this chapter. But there is something from her past holding her back and the suspense is building around this. We also see him determined to edge closer and closer to her. That scene where he gives her the brief hug was really good. Loved the realistic dialogue here estory

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
    Thank you for the kind and understanding review.
Comment from AJ McCall
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

The other post with the picture was a little much for me, so you get two reviews. (There was nothing wrong with the pic.:) That chapter was pretty funny. And then this scene you wrote reminds me of the part in the movie 'The Meg' when the main character had been in the locker room and the Asian woman had walked in. I don't see why Katherine is so worked up about it, and she's almost (this is how I feel) that she's insulting Gabriel. He has been honest and helps her out. A LOT. But it could be because she's scared. And I want to find out what they'll be exactly saying to each other so expect another review for that next chapter you post!!!!

P.S. I noticed one error: He took the papers. "Pack-up. I'll give them to him.
(")


 Comment Written 05-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
    Katherine had a lot of issues. They'll slowly be coming out. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by AJ McCall on 07-Apr-2021
    You're welcome!!!
Comment from Mistydawn
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

It looks like Kathern needs to put her big girl panties on and quick, lol. Your chapter is well-written, very interesting from start to finish. I look forward to seeing how she's going to get out of this, lol.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Leann DS
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This was a fun chapter. I enjoyed it. I did notice a couple parts that you could cut because they are repeated.
-when Gabriel says something like... This is a B embarrassed moment then forget about it. You said that in two different places.
-you also had Catherine say that she didn't want to admit that she thought Gabriel was hot, but you said it two times. You could delete one of those or have her say something else to carry the story along.

And this, one typo:
After Jordan handed Coach the stack of papers, Gabriel glance at Katherine and nodded.
-glance should be glanced

Love it! I can't wait to see what happens next. It's getting juicy. :-)

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
    I will check those areas out. Thank you for the help.
Comment from bhogg
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Well written with excellent pace. I was sorry to see it end. Guess I'll have to stay tuned to see what happens. A few years ago at my health club, a young woman chased her young son right into the locker room. I was nude. When I left, the receptionist asked if I had time to cover my privates with a towel. My response, "No, I covered my face. She'll never know me from my privates!"

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. LOL cute story.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A little skin does funny things to people, causing them to look at someone in a totally different way than usual. Heck, you almost embarrassed me just reading it. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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It probably would have been less complicated if she had just been able to blush, apologise, and laugh it off! But that's not life, and not her personality. Yet I am not sure why she feels he has such a big ego, maybe I missed something in the first chapters, but Gabriel always seems so kind and considerate, and thoughtful. I must keep reading! Thanks for posting.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.