Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Football Chapter 10 part 2"A mother faces life's struggles.
29 total reviews
Comment from AJ McCall
Aww, I don't know why Katherine is denying that THEY ARE THE PERFECT MATCH! It's so hard to read as she keeps telling herself that he's just another guy. And now Gabriel's doing the same thing! Well, I know mothers' have a certain type of power that gets their children listening n no time. I'm very curious to see what happens!
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2021
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Aww, I don't know why Katherine is denying that THEY ARE THE PERFECT MATCH! It's so hard to read as she keeps telling herself that he's just another guy. And now Gabriel's doing the same thing! Well, I know mothers' have a certain type of power that gets their children listening n no time. I'm very curious to see what happens!
Comment Written 04-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2021
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I am curious to see what happens next, too. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome!
Comment from Sanku
Gabriel gets along with the boys very well.Katherine is getting help to set up her home .Looks like a very friendly community. Both katherine and Gabriel seem well matched.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2021
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Gabriel gets along with the boys very well.Katherine is getting help to set up her home .Looks like a very friendly community. Both katherine and Gabriel seem well matched.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from eliz100
This part kept me interested from beginning to end. I do not see any room for improvement. I continue to enjoy the font and spacing. I don't think I mentioned that presenting the chapters in parts make a good reading length.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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This part kept me interested from beginning to end. I do not see any room for improvement. I continue to enjoy the font and spacing. I don't think I mentioned that presenting the chapters in parts make a good reading length.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Gabe is getting slowly into the role of the father and the charming knight for the mother. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your next chapter.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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Gabe is getting slowly into the role of the father and the charming knight for the mother. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your next chapter.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from w.j.debi
It seems the entire town is matchmaking. Sometimes strangers can see things because they aren't in the thick of it. Katherine and Gabe are good together. It's going to take some time for them to realize it.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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It seems the entire town is matchmaking. Sometimes strangers can see things because they aren't in the thick of it. Katherine and Gabe are good together. It's going to take some time for them to realize it.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from robyn corum
Barb,
Another chapter in the continuing tale of two people determined to fight off their attraction for each other. Determined to list everything WRONG instead of everything RIGHT. hahaha Nice.
Notes:
1.) Katherine walked into (the) living room (but) avoided eye contact with Angie.
--> seems like she would also pretend to be doing something
2.) said, I've known Gabe for three years. He has faults, he's a man, but he's a good guy. Why?"
--> lose the 'why' We're women - we all know why she's asking. Besides, she already said a minute ago she had expected the q
3.) She refolded a sweater, twice. "I guess I'm wondering about his
--> the last person mentioned was Angie
4.) She set it in a drawer.
--> Finally satisfied with the sweater's condition, she placed it in a drawer.
--> I detest what I call 'ungrounded ITs'
5.) Watch your ITs if you know I'm reading. *smile*
6.) He said he did but nobody answered and he heard Joel and Jeremy fighting.
--> not enough clarity here - it this all the same line of thought or two?
--> He said he knocked but nobody answered. Then he heard Joel and Jeremy fighting.
--> He said knocked; he came on in when he heard Joel and Jeremy fighting.
7.) He also gave the impression I could follow him to answer my door. I commented, and he seemed upset."
--> Later on, when everyone arrived, he headed to the door first, giving the impression I might just follow him to my own door. I made some little comment and he seemed truly upset."
8.) He wants to make sure women understand they're equal."
--> He wants to make sure women are treated equally and (<--italicized) that they should come to expect it."
9.) That's a problem but also part of his charm.
--> It could (<--italicized) be seen as a problem by some--but it's really also part of his charm.
10.) Under her breath she added, "Especially a self-centered jock."
--> too far away
--> Especially a relationship with...
11.) Now get, and take those boys fishing."
--> I'm glad you're not close enough to smack me. *smile*
--> that 'get' needs to be italicized as well. Even if you don't do the others
Thanks a bunch -hope something might help!
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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Barb,
Another chapter in the continuing tale of two people determined to fight off their attraction for each other. Determined to list everything WRONG instead of everything RIGHT. hahaha Nice.
Notes:
1.) Katherine walked into (the) living room (but) avoided eye contact with Angie.
--> seems like she would also pretend to be doing something
2.) said, I've known Gabe for three years. He has faults, he's a man, but he's a good guy. Why?"
--> lose the 'why' We're women - we all know why she's asking. Besides, she already said a minute ago she had expected the q
3.) She refolded a sweater, twice. "I guess I'm wondering about his
--> the last person mentioned was Angie
4.) She set it in a drawer.
--> Finally satisfied with the sweater's condition, she placed it in a drawer.
--> I detest what I call 'ungrounded ITs'
5.) Watch your ITs if you know I'm reading. *smile*
6.) He said he did but nobody answered and he heard Joel and Jeremy fighting.
--> not enough clarity here - it this all the same line of thought or two?
--> He said he knocked but nobody answered. Then he heard Joel and Jeremy fighting.
--> He said knocked; he came on in when he heard Joel and Jeremy fighting.
7.) He also gave the impression I could follow him to answer my door. I commented, and he seemed upset."
--> Later on, when everyone arrived, he headed to the door first, giving the impression I might just follow him to my own door. I made some little comment and he seemed truly upset."
8.) He wants to make sure women understand they're equal."
--> He wants to make sure women are treated equally and (<--italicized) that they should come to expect it."
9.) That's a problem but also part of his charm.
--> It could (<--italicized) be seen as a problem by some--but it's really also part of his charm.
10.) Under her breath she added, "Especially a self-centered jock."
--> too far away
--> Especially a relationship with...
11.) Now get, and take those boys fishing."
--> I'm glad you're not close enough to smack me. *smile*
--> that 'get' needs to be italicized as well. Even if you don't do the others
Thanks a bunch -hope something might help!
Comment Written 28-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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I made the changes. I always appreciate your help and never get upset over it. I want my writing to improve. I have noticed the busier I get at work the more mistakes I make.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Like your story. Doing some catch up work reading today....I hope things work out for Katherine. I know that she is a widowed woman who is trying to find the best way for herself and her children.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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Like your story. Doing some catch up work reading today....I hope things work out for Katherine. I know that she is a widowed woman who is trying to find the best way for herself and her children.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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Thank you.
Comment from greyson ernst
wow this is really really good how many words does this have? but the picture does not make sense why not a foot ball player but as always keep writing and stay safe
sincerely Greyson Ernst
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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wow this is really really good how many words does this have? but the picture does not make sense why not a foot ball player but as always keep writing and stay safe
sincerely Greyson Ernst
Comment Written 26-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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LOl Thank you.
Comment from Wendy G
An enjoyable read, and I am glad I didn't miss this chapter. It is always well written, clear, and smooth-flowing. I am looking forward to seeing what obstacles arise in the progress of your story.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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An enjoyable read, and I am glad I didn't miss this chapter. It is always well written, clear, and smooth-flowing. I am looking forward to seeing what obstacles arise in the progress of your story.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from RetroStarfish
This chapter certainly does work and it's not too long at all.
It's a nice touch to have both Gabe and Katherine talk to friends about the budding relationship. We see them mirroring each other, with the same advice from friends and the same concerns.
This also is a nice touch: "She refolded a sweater, twice." You've allowed the reader to see Katherine's nervousness instead of telling us she's nervous.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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This chapter certainly does work and it's not too long at all.
It's a nice touch to have both Gabe and Katherine talk to friends about the budding relationship. We see them mirroring each other, with the same advice from friends and the same concerns.
This also is a nice touch: "She refolded a sweater, twice." You've allowed the reader to see Katherine's nervousness instead of telling us she's nervous.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
