Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Football Chapter 5 part 1"
A mother faces life's struggles.

21 total reviews 
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This relationship is starting out casual enough, but even at this point there is an interest on both sides. You are building the tension well and dropping in just enough about each character to keep things interesting and the reader hoping for the next chapter.

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Sanku
Excellent
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That is a relief that Mr Frost will no longer be in the school to torment her. But I feel his presence will loom large al through the novel.Very well written ..

 Comment Written 28-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 28-Nov-2020
    His presence, sort of, will linger. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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Without knowing the beginning, I still found this an enjoyable read. The writer's notes underneath were helpful. It would be interesting to see how this story develops.

 Comment Written 25-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 27-Nov-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What a great way to start off my day, Frost with a one-way ticket away. Of course, I'm guessing that this won't be the last we hear from him in his retaliation. Thanks for sharing. Happy Thanksgiving!

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 24-Nov-2020
    We will hear from Frost again. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Cynthia Adams1
Excellent
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This is the first installment I've read of your story. I like it and will continue to read when I see other chapters.
The story moves well, with dialogue that sounds natural. There were no points when I stopped and thought "that is a cliche'" or that phrase "fell flat."
I find myself interested in Katherine and her family.
Nice job.

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 24-Nov-2020
    Welcome! Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Cynthia Adams1 on 24-Nov-2020
    You are more than welcome.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
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I like the ending of this chapter. Relief is in sight for Katherine. I hope it will work out so Frost will not keep bothering her and her children. Wow! I can imagine this happens in real life, too.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 24-Nov-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Excellent
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Mr. Coach to the rescue, but the Lady has some second thoughts about this:"Katherine stood and watched. I think I hurt his feelings. Why does that surprise me? Because arrogant jocks, don't have feelings. Could there be more to him?" Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

-This is a very good chapter, Barbara.
-The dialogue is believable and the
story flows well.
-The morning jog is a good way to begin.
-Katherine still has reservations
about Gabriel, but she also decides
to ask what he likes at the bakery,
and comes up with some of his favorites.
-The discussion in Paul's office is also
very good, and it seems like a lot
was taken care of overnight.
-I think Katherine's request about
her son's math class is a very good one
on her part, as well as for a restraining order.
-I am glad Frost is removed from the staff,
and I hope there is no more issue with him!
-But I am guessing that might be too easy.
-In the meantime, it will be interesting
to see what Paul wants to talk about,
and maybe Katherine will see that that
there is more to Gabriel. I quite like him!
-You have a great week and Thanksgiving, too.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
    Thank you for the encouragement.
reply by Pam (respa) on 23-Nov-2020
    You are welcome. I didn't say anything, but I was glad the incident with Frost didn't carry over into this chapter. I read it, but it was a bit too intense for me.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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Brisk pace, snappy dialog, likeable/credible characters nicely flesh out the story!

So [omit comma] I've heard.

May I request if Jordan's in one of his classes, that he be transferred to another teacher [comma instead of semicolon] even if it means taking a different math course?"

Because arrogant jocks [omit comma] don't have feelings.

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
    Thank you for the help. I've omitted the commas.
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Thank you for the good personal wishes and the blessings. And for this chapter. Well, why do I think we haven't seen the last of Frost, even though he's been canned? I'm sure you have a few more surprises up your sleeve. Have a marvelous Thanksgiving.

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
    He does have a few surprised. LOL Thank you for the kind review.