Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Football Chapter 3 part 1"
A mother faces life's struggles.

21 total reviews 
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Excellent chapter. Very descriptive and glad I am still with you. Keep it coming. Just sad I missed the big phoney money again. You must notify me I am still here on Monthly on and off for now. I cancelled the "Auto-renew" on Pay Pal.

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the kind review. I am almost always posting on Sundays' unless it's a holiday, then on Mondays'.
reply by Sankey on 25-Oct-2020
    Just so you know now I am on Monthly it seems sometimes the review option disappears. I have to ask Tom about it as reviewing disappeared on one of my other favourite writer's in the cross-over to Monthly Membership but I was paid up so I dunno what happened. Have to speak to Tom about it. Another reason I am eventually leaving this place.
Comment from Sanku
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A great chapter. "new Horizon" ? Since you are asking , if not football ,then something connected to that sport would be great. After all football will have a good part in this story...(what about the school's name ?)

 Comment Written 21-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
    I would like to use the school's name, but that's pretty clique. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
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Sports are very much in the picture when you have someone playing. I can relate to those days. Now with the pandemic, the grandchildren play with a mask on...so far so good!

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
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So, the coach isn't hitting on her, but sort of he is. He is rather pushy in a charming sort of way such as 'you get me coffee and I'll get you lunch'. Your dialogue draws the reader in. The interaction between the characters reveals their personalities, including those of the boys.

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What a nice chapter. My mouth dropped at the time of her early morning run!! Goodness me! I liked that the coach was there, he sounds so nice, I'm sure this is going to develope into something romantic. Gabriel has my approval! LOL. What I like about this is that they are starting to get along, Katherine is mellowing towards him. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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It's nice when someone is so polite and considerate of their reader's time. I wish I could always remember to be the same way. I promise, I try. But more times than not they just grow out of proportion. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

-Nice image,Barbara.
-Your character of Mr. Frost;
is he Rodney or Robert? In the last
chapter, he was Rodney in the story
and Robert in your character list.
-This is a good follow up chapter
that allows Katherine to get to
know Gabriel a little better.
-Probably because she is a little
more acclimated to things, she
seems to find his company pleasant.
-The whole discussion about his
football playing days was very interesting.

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the kind review. I am going to have to fix that name.
reply by Pam (respa) on 24-Oct-2020
    You are welcome.
Comment from AJ McCall
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Haha! Gabriel does have a way of pushing his way into everything, lol. I love his character and that he's so helpful. They're a perfect match, Katherine just has to realize that. I have a feeling that Mr. Frost has beef with Gabriel... and that's so cool that everyone almost knows everyone. I do think A New Horizon is a bit cliche. Maybe, 'Love, Texas Style' or 'Under Texas Sun'. I don't know... they're just suggestions!


I did notice a couple of errors:

Gabriel walked(up) behind her and held her hand. "Don't do it. He deserves it, but he'll bring charges. As a new teacher, you don't need that. I promise it'll be handled."


He slightly raised his below-knee-length shorts, revealing two large surgery (scars.)


"Not as busy as my mom. She'll bring them back this afternoon in time to get Joshua to practice at the middle school. Jordan can work in my room, until( it's)time for his second practice. I just have to remember to get him lunch. I almost forgot yesterday. He should be packing his breakfast now and then eat in my room."


"Two sandwiches, a banana, and an apple. Oh(,) yea, (a) couple pieces of cheese, two bottles of Gator Ade, and two blueberry muffins. Think that'll hold me over until lunch? What's lunch anyway?"

("MOM!")


 Comment Written 19-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

For the answer to your question, yes New Horizons is over used. I suggest something that has to do with football. You moved the story along nicely. I want to keep reading especially to see what happens with Mr. Frost.

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from RShipp
Excellent
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"A true jock. I'm glad you didn't tax your brain," she teased. She stood on the sidewalk in front of her house. "This is it. Thank you for the escort." (Nice joking conversation.)

Katherine watched him jog. He's an interesting man. Most jocks aren't caring. (So, maybe the conversation had more truth than teasing?)

"Two sandwiches, a banana, and an apple. Oh yea, couple pieces of cheese, two bottles of Gator Ade, and two blueberry muffins. Think that'll hold me over until lunch? What's lunch anyway?" (This kid is an eater!)

That could be a good title...

Enjoyed.

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
    My boys eat everything in sight. LOL Thank you for the kind review.