Stray Goat On A Risky Hill
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Stray Goat On A Risky Hill-ch. 4"part One
16 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
I wonder if Matt and Maury will lead Wendigo to new insights that will help with the investigation? I liked "He who steals my purse, steals cash, but he who steals my brain, steals trash!"
Suggestion:
To make it easier to read, especially since your text is in bold, consider putting in a blank line between the paragraphs.
  |
I wonder if Matt and Maury will lead Wendigo to new insights that will help with the investigation? I liked "He who steals my purse, steals cash, but he who steals my brain, steals trash!"
Suggestion:
To make it easier to read, especially since your text is in bold, consider putting in a blank line between the paragraphs.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
Comment from Sharon Elwell
Good introduction to this story. Now I want to go back and read the rest. Anxious to see what happens next. There were a few grammatical things I noticed: listing the equipment, she said, "...the monitor speaker's"... and the apostrophe is not needed.
I think "On Air" light would be easier to read than "...on air light..." which made me go back and reread it.
"...the Generator..." doesn't need a capital.
Good work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
 |
Good introduction to this story. Now I want to go back and read the rest. Anxious to see what happens next. There were a few grammatical things I noticed: listing the equipment, she said, "...the monitor speaker's"... and the apostrophe is not needed.
I think "On Air" light would be easier to read than "...on air light..." which made me go back and reread it.
"...the Generator..." doesn't need a capital.
Good work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am too young to remember the 'Life of Riley' but I enjoyed listening Thank you for sharing this chapter with us. I enjoyed reading.
You need a space between all of your dialogue.
"I'll give you the "Everything You Wanted To Know tour," Anna laughed (TRY - "I'll give you the 'Everything You Wanted To Know tour'." Anna laughed.)
which is on which means "ssshhhh", the button panel, our phone talkback system, intercom, CD players, mini disc players, turn tables..." (quotation inside of quotations is a no go.)
|
I am too young to remember the 'Life of Riley' but I enjoyed listening Thank you for sharing this chapter with us. I enjoyed reading.
You need a space between all of your dialogue.
"I'll give you the "Everything You Wanted To Know tour," Anna laughed (TRY - "I'll give you the 'Everything You Wanted To Know tour'." Anna laughed.)
which is on which means "ssshhhh", the button panel, our phone talkback system, intercom, CD players, mini disc players, turn tables..." (quotation inside of quotations is a no go.)
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
Comment from prettybluebirds
You end this chapter with a nice hook to assure the reader comes back. The dialogue is terrific and keeps the story moving forward at a good pace. Nice work.
|
You end this chapter with a nice hook to assure the reader comes back. The dialogue is terrific and keeps the story moving forward at a good pace. Nice work.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nice writing. Good plot advancement.
Still tittering, Matt said, "Them them what Riley said." - (them them?)
Did they never get any coffee?
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
|
Nice writing. Good plot advancement.
Still tittering, Matt said, "Them them what Riley said." - (them them?)
Did they never get any coffee?
Best wishes.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
-
Thanks! I'm the one who needs coffee, or I wouldn't have made that dumb mistake!
Comment from patcelaw
This is a very well written chapter in the book and it moves along very well and it is especially easy to listen to as it flows very well when read aloud. I wish for you a very good day day and a very wonderful week. May God bless you. Patricia .
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
|
This is a very well written chapter in the book and it moves along very well and it is especially easy to listen to as it flows very well when read aloud. I wish for you a very good day day and a very wonderful week. May God bless you. Patricia .
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
-
Many thanks for your kind words and I am wishing you many blessings!
