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Bar62
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Halloween horror writing contest.

   Thread Started September 8 at 4:18AM

<< Thread Modifed September 8 at 4:55AM >>

I must have read and re-read my posting of this story at least five or six times this evening. I have come to the conclusion that this is a pretty good piece of writing. it's got a very solid storyline, very intelligent character development and dialogue, a dry quick wit, coupled with an enjoyable sense of humor, and issues that all are dealing with. The Spanish that i had included in the story was all of three sentences and does not seem to me to really slow down the story.

The other critiques were grammar/punctuation. Missing speech tags which I have corrected. I may have either left some commas in or neglected to place in the piece.

One other comment concerning a jumble of characters, mixing up the reader. I do not feel like my character development was confusing, on the contrary, I believe my characters acted very well together. I further believe that my characters dialogue was interesting, thought-provoking, and intelligent. I especially enjoyed Bruja, the mother, she was to the point, with a marvelous sense of humor. Luce, the Uncle, also possesses humor, intelligence, and a quick wit.

The underlying theme of the post is around the idea of good and evil, right and wrong,
God & Lucifer.

I believe it is definitely worth more than an average or a good.

Thanks for your time and consideration.
Bar Ponneck -- Scary - In the eye of the beholder.