I thought he was a man of note –
his appearance was not the key.
My attraction was in the songs he wrote,
for I love words, you see.
He has flat feet and a treble chin;
his sharp nose sticks out far.
His cleft palate makes a lop-sided grin –
he does look most bizarre.
My boyfriend is a Muso, he strums on his guitar,
but when I want him home with me, he’s often at the bar.
I felt I had to say my piece, so this is what I said:
“I want to make sweet music, in our marital bed.”
“But I can take my pick,” he said,
“when I’m away from home.
You’ll have to fret alone with dread,
for I so love to roam.”
I felt that I’d been strung along –
my happiness had been sucked.
This fickle man had done me wrong;
my heart strings had been plucked.
I became quite crotchety, but my stress was to no avail.
My voice began to quaver as it rose upon the scale.
I could not hold my tempo when he turned around to go.
He said that I was a perfect pitch as I began to wail.
I knew not what to do.
My voice raised in crescendo,
I yelled out: “Well, fugue you!
I’ll have fun in Key Largo with my faithful vibrato.”
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Author Notes
Author's Note
21 music-related puns are used:
note, key, flat, treble, sharp, cleft, bar, pick, fret, strung, plucked, crotchet, stress, quaver, scale, tempo, pitch, crescendo, fugue, largo, vibrato.
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