Background
I decided to document how this virus is affecting my sanity. So feel free to join me in this experience, I hope the reading will become funnier, then what I posted so far. Thank you for reading.
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April 21, 2020
Day 36
What have I learnt in Coronella time? We know that there will be another one. Now they can declare Coronella a successful experiment. They have the solution to clean our numbers. The next one will clear more spots on Planet Earth, and this is how you get rid of Pollution.
So, yeah ,for the future pandemic, you need for sure a house with a bunker, where you can shove all your dear ones that are in self-isolation. It's a must to have two offices that are sound proof and that have the capacity to seal the room when you are in a conference. In my case, it must be husband and cat-proof. This is not a bonus, but a necessity. Another must is an autonomous server with the best Internet Connection and State of Art computer system.
It's required to have handy a list with different suppliers for hygienic products and food, as well as a daycare for cats, if my bunker is not cat-proof. They must accept the husband too. The house must have a swimming pool: after an exhausting meeting, I need to get back my joie de vivre with a quick swim.
I will need a huge dose of: "I don't care, and Me First" in this way I will avoid that useless therapy session with:" you hurt my feelings!" I hate those session: you talk, you find the solution and the guy across the couch gets the money, honey for pretending to listen. Mommy, I know what I want to be when I grow up, I want to be a psychologist. I am very good at pretending and giving advice. I think the champion in this area is my husband. Ladies, let's do a rain check, watch how many times, your husband says yes without thinking...
One month before the next pandemic hits, I propose a huge vacation sale, so people can rush and have fun and then ... die in peace! Between two sneezes, when you are in self-isolation, you can open the memory channel and travel back to that magnificent trip you just had a month ago. In my case three months ago. I still feel the breeze from the rain forest or the crystal clear smile of the Caribbean Sea from Cuba. Please forgive me, I know it's not fair...
I am adding this requirement to the pandemic bill: that the global Lawyers are going to demand as compensation from China. It's pay back time, bitch! I am not a racist, oh, well, now I might be. For the past year, all the crappy flues (aviary, swine, SARS, Coronella, etc) came from China. So, yeah, this is not a coincidence they must pay or go in self-isolation forever to stop the virus from spreading all over the globe. The lawyers are also going to require the immediate closure of all travels facilities from China to the rest of the world: no more fake tourism here.
We do have a lot of that in Canada. People say that they are coming over here to study... English! Why not in England, the mother of English language? Study, my foot! They come and bring all types of diseases. Here comes Coronella for you, Canada welcomes you, but we in Alberta? We welcome you with a gun. Oh, wait, The Prime took that right away, so I guess we go back to the old tool, our faith. We will beat Coronella with faith or fen-shui...
Author Notes
I am using Coronella instead of Corona, I think sounds funnier:)
For my readers and reviewers, please forgive me for my bad English, since is my third language, I am using this cheap excuse to ask for your help in correcting the grammar and the other mistakes
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