Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.
Background
This is my way to cope with this virus. I will try to post everyday updates from all over the world and my own vision, hopefully funny, on the matter
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Day 3
March 19, 2020
Myths about Corona virus:
1. Wash your hands, and you will be safe. Really? Is Miss Corona going to come and check first your hands and then choose the next victim? Just imagine "MMM, dirty, dirty little fellow I am coming to get you. No, not that one, he just washed his hands. I am coming for you later, bud. So, get dirty!" Poor China has exported all the soap for New Year and this why they got the Corona virus, too dirty for her taste!
2. If they disinfect you before and after you go on a store, you will be safe. You, North Americans, you don't know this is the new trend in Romania. Don't you even think to open the door to a store, doctor office, pharmacy etc., before they spray you from head to toe with disinfectant. Yup, that one is produced loco, so plenty of supplies. And I am not talking about the mighty disinfectant wipes, that are hot commodity right now, and are missing from the shelves anyway. Over there, they pour chlorine on you, on your cars when you cross the boarder, on other words on everything. And still Miss Corona doesn't care, cases are multiplying like mushrooms. My mom was wondering how safe is to eat the veggies and fruits after they are being generously sprayed with disinfectants. I told her, we will have soon a new species, arise from the chlorine, the 100% purifiers, and these are people I am talking about.
3. The Almighty Mask! My friend, who is a doctor, asked me why I don't wear a mask. I told her, because I can't find any. She gave me one 100% protection advice. If you can find any masks on the market, (duh, there are none left for the late arrivals like me), make masks from wet wipes, the ones you used for your face, and you will be safe.
You opportunists, now you have a new recipe for making money and getting rich after the Corona virus. I better go to the store and stoke on wipes, before they disappear like the... toilet paper. I was very intrigued when she brought me some vitamins and was wearing a mask, but no gloves. I was thinking that if you want to be safe, you must wear the whole hazmat suit. Better be safe than sorry. Oh, wait, she washed her hands! Anybody selling those suits? I am intrested in acquiring four. I am not greedy, I need a change of cloth for one I wash one of them, and of course my hubby needs two as well. Do they come in kitties size too?
4. Reduce bus schedule and you stop the spread. False, that's a no, no! In the meantime, I am still going to work. Yupyy! They reduce the buses, which helps spreading the virus, because everybody jumps in the same bus and believe me no chance for social distancing, oh, well, all of us are on our phones, so we don't talk to each other, aka socializing. If you want to be isolated carry heavy groceries bags and put them around you and nobody will approach you. And if you sneeze, space it up brother! I might have it or might not, wanna risk it?
5. If you are stocked, you will survive the pandemic. No, you will not! Somebody might sneeze on your window, when you are taking a fresh breath of air, and bang, you got it! At least, you can die happy on top of your toilet paper, meat, disinfectant etc.. Please, give us the address, we will take care of your body, Scout's word, and also of your stash.
6. If you get high, you are safe. No, you are not! The question will be, are you high from the virus, or from what you took? Is that feaver or overdose? Wrong medication and you are a gooner!
In the meantime, in Canada: we made to the six hundred! In my province, we have one hundred and nineteen cases. What a wonderful time for gossipers, the rumor spreaders - we are going to die if.... Man, and I have plenty of those where I work. They talk so passionate about it and like to scare the shit out of me. But I got the antidote, I show them the Bible, and shout: behold your breathe, the Apocalypse is coming! And they run like chickens. So glory to the Lord, I am isolating myself virtually from this pandemic and joke about it; that is how we survived the worst times of communism, why not try the same method right now?
Author Notes
Day 3 since I conscientiously jump into this pandemic. This is my way to cope with this virus. I will try to post everyday updates from all over the world and my own vision, hopefully funny, on the matter. Thank you for reading and wash your hands:)
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