Safe To Remember : Waves of Guilt by rwilliam |
I had to run to the grocery store today. On the way home a catchy song Is it ok to be happy? To feel joy with Daddy suffering in the hospital? As silly as that may sound, the guilt was real. I woke up sad today. I’ve I called Mom today, for the first time in about three days. I tried calling her Lord, I’m trying to implement what You are teaching me about ‘not letting While I waited for mom to answer the phone I felt sick, “Hello.” It didn’t sound like her at first and my mind rushed to worry. “Mom? Did I catch you at dinner?” “Yeah,” she cleared her throat. “How are you? You’ve been on my heart?” “I’m…good…I'm good.” I could tell there was more behind that answer but she was sitting with “What are you having?” I asked. “Mac and cheese,” she giggled. “Daddy’s having spaghetti.” “Oh, that sounds good. How is Daddy?” “He’s good, Doing all of his therapy…just a minute…Eldon, do you want “Of course, no worries, Mom.” I pushed the mute button and said to my “I’m back, it took me awhile to open that,” Mom chuckled. “Hey, Mom, tell Daddy that KC won their game 51-31.” “Eldon, KC won their game, 51-31,” there was a pause and no response “Isn’t that great?” Mom nudged. “Yup.” I could feel both Mom and I had a hard time with his response. Daddy loves A favorite memory was when we lived in Georgia. Daddy drove a school “Can I go with Daddy on the bus, Mom, please?” I can still see Mom at the kitchen sink preparing breakfast and packing our “Why? Why can’t she go?” He asked. Mom hesitated, her back still to Daddy. “Ok, I guess you can, but you have I was already changing from my nightgown into whatever I could find in the dark I remember knowing that Mom didn’t like it when Daddy and I had time Minutes later, I was climbing on the bus with my Dad, lunch boxes in hand. I’d go all the way to the back of the bus. That’s where the big kids sat and He was my Dad and I was going to be the one to sit behind him! It’s still a struggle adjusting to the person Daddy is right now. Will that change,
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rwilliam
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