SCENE ONE
POKER GAME
Scene: Four friends sit at a round table playing cards:
Cast:
Link = Neanderthal
Meow Meow (MM) = Female Impersonator
Nine Ways to Sundown (Nine) = Cowboy
Odin = Norse dog walker
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Link
Mexican Sweat. Twos are wild and fours are the death card.
MM
I am NOT playing that riDICules game again.
Nine
I'd as soon play five card stud, Bubba.
Odin
Ooh, Stud.
Link
You turds never want to play my games.
MM
We always lose to you. It takes all our money just to get through one hand and then -- we lose.
Nine
That is truth told. We're all anted in and raised 'til that death card wipes us out. Then you haul in the dough and we're thumbin' home.
Odin
So, it's stud then.
Link
Fine. Five card draw. Jacks or better to open. Suicide king is wild.
MM
What's a suicide king?
Nine
King of Hearts, Meow Meow. He has a sword through his gourd.
Odin
Oh yes. He's the only king without a beard.
Link
Yeah. He shaved with that pig sticker before he lanced his grape.
MM
Do we have to ante every time no one can open?
Link
Yeah, and it's a nickel progressive until somebody bets.
Nine
I'm going to end up broke again before I lay a card down.
Odin
I'll lend you money, Cowboy.
Everyone tosses in a nickel.
Link
Okay. Pot good? Cards all around.
Deals counter clockwise until all players have five cards. Each player looks at the cards dealt to them.
MM
I bet a quarter.
Nine
Fold
MM
You're folding at a quarter.
Odin
More for me. I see your quarter and raise it another one.
Link
That's the spirit, Odin. I see that fifty cents. Meow Meow you're light a quarter.
MM
I fold too.
Link
Didn't you open? You haven't even got any more cards yet.
Odin
Yeah. A pair of jacks is a good hand in this game. You might get trips and win.
Link
Cards, Odin?
Odin
Shows the dealer an ace. I'll take four cards.
Link tosses four more cards to Odin face down.
Link
Check to the power.
Odin
Two bucks.
Link
I'll bite. Call.
Odin
Four threes.
Link
Geez! Who dealt this crap. How about shuffling them next time Nine.
Everyone gets up and leaves while Odin fills his change purse.
END OF SCENE
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