Pons and Ned meet at a barn outside of town where their younger cousin, Flack, and his high school senior class are building their homecoming float.
Flack: Hey Pons, Hey Ned! Thanks for coming to the party.
Pons: Glad to help, Flack. Looks like you have a big crew here already.
Ned: I jis come along cause I ain't never seen a hay wagon float. I missed my homecomin' parade on account I was home schooled. Guess I might a had a home leavin' parade, but it would a jis bin me and Ma, I s'pose.
Flack: Sure, Ned. Thanks for coming. Yeah, the wagon won't actually float. That's just an expression. The first floats were actually barges that were decorated back in the Middle Ages.
Ned: Like atween being twelve and twenty years old.
Pons: No, Ned. He means back in the years 1100 to the mid fifteenth century.
Ned: Well holy hoops and ladders, dude. You folks bin workin' on this baby fer a long time. The fifteenth century was back there a bit. I weren't probably more than a kid.
Flack: That was more than five hundred years ago, Ned.
Ned: C'mon, Flack; I dun look that old, do I?
Flack: Huh?
Pons: So how can we help?
Flack: School regulations prevent anyone younger than eighteen from using power tools on this project. So, we'll need one of you two to use a drill, circular saw, sabre saw, or nail gun.
Ned: I brung a chain saw if ya need it. Jis so ya know though, it's fer cuttin' wood, not chains. I learnt that the hard way.
Pons: Great, Ned. I think we'll probably not need that here.
Flack: Our theme is super heroes, so we'll need to cut out a Wonder Woman silhouette.
Ned: So how ya gettin' Wonner Woman wet and silly?
Pons: That's not exactly what's happening, Ned.
Ned: Now was Wonner Woman AC er DC.
Pons: DC, Ned. I assume you mean DC or Marvel.
Ned: No, I meant she liked other women like Aunty Mitzy in Ypsilanti.
Pons: Okay -- uh -- Flack. Where's the sabre saw? I'll cut out the form. Is it drawn somewhere.
Ned: I might have a ol' Justice Leak comic book in my truck.
Pons: I meant a bigger than life sized one, Ned.
Ned: Naw. Even the one on my wall at home is jis regular super person size.
Pons: So, Ned. You have Wonder Woman on your wall? Do you have Superman and Batman as well?
Ned: Well, no. I do haf Supergirl, the Black Widder, an' Vanna White.
Flack: Here's the board, Pons. See the outline?
Pons: Yes. Good. Hey, Ned! Plug in the power cord, will ya?
Ned: Sure, cuz. Jis gimme a coupla minutes so's I kin take a squirt over in the woods there.
Pons: Okay, Ned. If you don't mind though, I'll see if someone else can plug that cord in.
Ned: They look like a smart bunch, Pons. Ya oughta find one fer sure.
To be continued...
|