Whale, hello there – now, just for the halibut,
I thought I’d enter my verse.
’Tis the summer sea-sun, and it’s about to get worse!
Did I beach you to it?
C’mon – let’s do it!
Salmon told me you like to have fun...
Seas the day! Girls just wanna have sun!
I love the beach; can I be any more Pacific?
…or a pond, a river, or lake – all terrific.
I lake to pond-er the variety of life’s meaning,
and I enjoy watching rivers on live-streaming.
I take Vitamin Sea, now I am old and sea-Nile,
and I sometimes have sea-zures, just once in a while.
Thames the breaks, when our brain gets old,
it has a Rhine of its own, so I’m told.
Indus position makes me feel off-colour and sick,
but I’m a Tigris at heart so I get well quick.
Here is a story concerning a river in France –
a man tried to walk on water but got wet pants;
that river is in Paris – local police say the man’s in-Seine.
He was avoiding pier pressure, got washed down a drain,
tried to go with the flow, swam into a wall and said, “Dam.”
(I might as well get hung for a sheep as a clam.)
Euphrates gonna hurt himself? Don’t worry about that,
he was singing ‘Amazon Grace’ with a water rat.
River jokes are funny, they make me smile –
a guy got drunk in Cairo, now he’s in de-Nile.
Miss Issippi is a friend of mine (she stutters a lot);
I like to go waterskiing behind her racing yacht.
I’m not squidding you right now, as we go back to the sea;
life’s a beach, enjoy the waves, don’t you agree?
I can’t fathom your depths and I’m really not shore –
let’s not get tide down if you want so much more.
Where there’s a will there’s a wave –
shell we dance until dawn?
If you’re not octopied, you can nibble my prawn.
Now let me pass on some good advice,
it’s a little bit Volga, and really not so nice.
(I’ve peed myself laughing, I really am crude;
it’s toilet humour if you’re in the mood.)
Here are two reasons, don’t drink from the loo:
Number one. And number two.
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Pun-ting on the Thames
Contest Winner
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Author Notes
Author's Note:
The photo shows the Big Prawn, located at Ballina, northern New South Wales, Australia.
It was designed to be 30,000 times larger than a real prawn. (We don't call them shrimps in Australia.)
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