I’ve been locked in my prison,
and a rude intruder’s broken in!
Our hormones are driven, now lust has arisen
to commit an act of sin.
Ssshhh! Don’t make such a din.
Meow… meow! Stroke me now!
(no, not there, it’s tender.)
I promise not to look at you –
go on, do what you have to do.
Yes, I surrender!
But please tickle me first – do your worst,
before you make your getaway.
Or maybe you’ll stay, so we can play?
Your test tickles make me smile –
please, oh please, stay awhile?
My troubadour Tom, you’re a real cool cat,
and I’d like a taste of that!
What did you come to steal?
Don’t tell me – time will reveal
that it probably was my heart,
I knew it from the start.
Though you will try to conceal
your true intention, so we just won’t mention
‘it’ – I’ve heard you can’t commit.
Heaven’s above, I just have to admit
I’m in love, love love!
There, I’ve said the word. Is it so absurd?
Oh, oh… that feels divine,
meow, oh wow, that is so utterly fine.
Down a bit lower, ooh! Yes, there – aah!
My dandy, randy feline, you really are without par!
That feels nice at any price.
If you don’t mind, if you’re feeling kind,
could we do it again?
My itch will remain while you are near.
Yes, I give up. Here, take this gold cup,
you are without peer. You are the winner!
I’ll share my dinner upon this plate,
now you’re my best mate.
This shag in a shed has soon now led
to an interesting state of affairs:
You, a knave, came upstairs to a Queen
and now – as we have all seen –
I am your slave.
Our kittens will win at shows,
and then… who knows?
Would it be so bad if their mum and dad
got hitched? Then our itch could get scritched
surrounded by comfy pillows.
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