Scene at a Set Building by Bill Schott Write A Script contest entry |
"Set Building" FADE IN: INT. Stage at a community theater. A row of flats depicting wildly different backgrounds are standing in the upstage area. From stage right, the first flat has a barber shop, complete with pole and 'Ye Olde Barber Shoppe' sign. The next flat is of a moonscape, consisting of an American flag and foot prints. Upstage center has an opening for a flat which hasn't yet been placed. The following flat has a carnival scene with a Ferris wheel, roller coaster, and carousel. The last flat, on stage left, is a jail house with painted barred windows and a sign which reads 'HOOSEGOW'. Pons and Ned enter stage right carrying a flat that is plain white with no design on it. They are speaking while they move to upstage center to place the flat. NED Where we placin' this one at, Pons? I think we done run outta room. PONS It's going right here in the upstage center spot that's still open. NED Did we climb some stairs? I dun amember that. Guess I bin carrying so many a these walls I don't know where I'm a goin'. PONS Well, we have actually only moved four before this one, and it's the last. NED That's good 'cause them stairs is a killer. PONS There were no stairs, Ned. Upstage means the back of the stage, like where we have placed these flats. NED Speakin' a these here flats, what kinda play they puttin' on? They got four diff'ent places what don't seem sim'lar atall. PONS I know what you mean, Ned. As it looks now, the story would be crazy. NED I think I had a dream about a place like this though. I started at the hair-cuttin' place -- PONS Barber shop? NED I didn't ask 'im, Pons. I know he fishes and likes ta play horse shoes. PONS Well, I meant what it's called, a barber shop -- like the sign. NED (Reading the sign) Yay oldee barbeer shoppee. Looks like they could use a spell check on their sign-paintin' machine. PONS That's old English, Ned. NED Well it's improved a mite. They oughtta update this baby. But, anyway, they go from that to this public service announcement. PONS This one with the American flag and the astronauts' footprints? NED Well sure. It's either sayin' ta wipe yer feet afore ya walk in from the dirty street, 'cause that there's the 'merican way. See Old Glory standin' tall right there. Or, it's warnin' folks ta not do no trespassin' aless you ain't 'merican. PONS Gee, Ned. I thought it was the image of the moon landing with the American flag we left there and the footprints of Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldren. NED Wow! Your dreams are way freakier than mine, Pons. Anyway, after the hair-cuttin' place and the foot-wipin' ordeal, there's this blank void where nothin' happens. (Walking in from stage left, the boys cousin overhears them and steps over.) RED It sounds as though you are describing your waking hours, Ned. NED Nope. PONS Have you come to help build the set, Red? RED Oh no, Pons. I am the talent. I will be headlining this show. PONS Maybe you could explain this eclectic backdrop? NED It's electric? I thunk it was jist like a big picture. So is this a backdrop or a updrop, 'cause we're upstage? PONS It's, ah -- RED When it comes to being a stage hand, Ned, you are more like a finger. A little finger. PONS Cut it out, Red. NED Where was I? Oh yeah. Then I was at a carnival and I got stuck on the top a the furry squeal. PONS Ferris wheel? NED I don't know what it's name was. It was big and furry and squealed like stuck pig. PONS Okay, Ned. Did you end up here in the jailhouse? NED Why would ya think that, Pons? PONS (Stands quietly, looking out into the audience.) RED Well, I can tell you why all these flats are different. The play has a lot of different milieus. So the director goes lights out except for where each particular scene is performed. All the audience sees are the actors and the backdrop. Get it? PONS That sounds quite avant garde. NED Ya begun ta lose me at 'me loose', and yer speech kinda mumbled off that last thin' 'bout that 'Ivan Gourd' feller. He the one what painted these here wall dealies? PONS (Smiling. He turns to face Red.) RED There's only three of us in the cast, but we play all the parts and have a dozen wardrobe changes. NED Sweat a lot, do ya? PONS Well, when we finish with this last flat, we'll go buy some tickets. When is the first performance? RED It's right now, Pons! (House lights go up and Pons notices there is an audience and they are applauding.) PONS What?! Ned?! You're a part of this? NED Yeah. This here's what comes after the furry squeal. PONS What? (Pons pants drop to the floor. Then, all lights go out and only Ned's voice can be heard.) NED Ever'thin' goes black as the three a clubs, and then -- (The lights on stage come on as Pons and Ned enter stage right carrying a flat that is plain white with no design on it. They are speaking while they move to upstage center to place the flat.) PONS It was a crazy dream, Ned. To top it off, my pants fell down. The only thing that could have been worse is to be on an endless loop of the same dream. NED Yeah, okay, Pons. So, where we placin' this one at? I think we done run outta room. (Lights fade to black.)
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Bill Schott
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