Exceptional A poem about our dog, slightly exxagerated Mongrel Guts by bob cullen

I had a little puppy dog I called him mongrel guts A big fat English Bulldog on the crazy side of nuts He pulled plants out of gardens then he chewed the bleeding hose How he has survived this long alive God in heaven knows He digs holes in my fresh laid lawn my wife says he's so cute Till she found her roses they'd been pulled out by their root For several hours she screamed aloud I'll kill that bloody mutt But dear I said she's so like you, she's got your big fat butt She screamed even louder and then she hurled me out the door Then the poor dog followed from the window on the third floor I saved him from injury he landed on top of me While old Mongrel Guts survived, I dislocated my knee The wife came running out the door and said, "Hope you're all right?" To the dog she said. "If he hurt you, do feel free to bite." I lay on the ground in screaming pain, the dog licking me A nosey crowd has gathered 'round and now I need to pee Someone is taking photos as the siren's drawing near People are asking questions and my thinking's not real clear Should I just tell the truth and blame our old English Bulldog Or should I claim lost mem'ry and record it in my blog Author Notes A greatly exaggerated tale about my son's dog. And any truth in the comparison between family members is totally distorted. Apologies to my wife.

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