Exceptional Chapter One: Considering Natural Justice The Saga of Pippa and Jess : The Saga of Pippa and Jess - 1 by LisaMay

This humorous immorality tale’s main characters are Pippa and Jess. Both their boyfriends, Basil (an organic horticulturalist) and Adam (a musician-singer-songwriter) have proven to be unfaithful. The girls are plotting their revenge. It is a tale of sisterhood, tragedy and comedy, stalking and espionage, warped concepts of justice, dastardly deeds, vandalism, a possum, misuse of a corpse, allergies, athleticism, a close encounter with a train and a ghost, a baby in swaddling clothes, and more that I haven’t had time to think up yet because writing this first bit exhausted me. Pippa and Jess are so energetic! I will try to arrive at some redemption and forgiveness by the end of the saga, some several chapters hence. Welcome aboard for the crazy ride!  Chapter One: Considering Natural Justice   Pippa and Jess are cousins. They have been friends for a very long time, right back to early childhood. Through shared experience, they enjoy a mutual reverence for self parody and both nurture a sublime sense of the ridiculous. And they sure have had experience of the ridiculous -- namely: themselves.  The reminiscing, meandering tale that follows will wander and sprint across a map of mad memories. To give you some background, here is how Pippa and Jess would have appeared to others, when aged in their early twenties. They seem an unlikely pairing, visually as well as psychologically, but somehow their differences are complementary. They have developed a close bond of friendship and loyalty.  Pippa is tall and willowy, pale of complexion, with a rather dreamy manner that is a cover for her more outrageous tendencies. With her keen imagination and love of colour, she is a favourite with the children at the Montessori School where she teaches.  Jess, with her laughing brown eyes and quick, pent-up energy, is the picture of capability. She is shorter than Pippa, and wears her hair in a cropped, dark bob. Her robust, toned physique attests to her sporting prowess as a track and field star with the local athletic club for the past eighteen months, since returning to her home town in New Zealand from overseas travels that lasted a couple of years.  Since her younger days, Jess has had a fascination with tools -- no, not those ones! What a grubby mind you have. She is a dab hand with a hammer and can whack a nail in with three blows. Her skill with a saw is legendary, so it is quite a natural progression that now, having passed her Certificate in Construction Trade Skills, she is working towards gaining her NZ Certificate in Carpentry at the local Polytechnic.    *  *  *   As four-year-olds back in sand-pit days, Jess brought a crab in a jar one day to kindergarten. She let it out to play in the sand beside her cousin, whereupon it promptly scuttled up Pippa’s vividly-patterned floral skirt. Unfazed, she calmly did a controlled shimmy, her blonde pigtails flying from side to side, and the creature fell out then zoomed across the sand and latched onto Jess’s chubby little toes. They both thought that was particularly hilarious and, in a very mature manner, recognised it as perfect natural justice.  These days, they have moved on from chuckling at the contortions caused by a crustacean -- another creature has taken its place as a symbol of their connection. Whenever they feel in need of a laugh, there is a sure-fire way to make it happen. A mere mention of “possum” and they crack up into eye-watering hysterics, likely to be accompanied by pants-wetting as well. Possums are not intrinsically humorous, so what is causing this mirth? We shall have to wind the egg timer back a few shakes, back a bit more, more…. just a  bit more. That’s it. They were much younger when the following events happened and as such, they were much less wise than they now are, as eminently mature matrons with grey hair, sagging boobs and the odd chin-bristle. Does wisdom really come with years? Hmmm. The jury is still out on that one.  Speaking of ‘jury’, our girls came within seconds of having to appear before one, as you will discover in the following mad-cap escapade they undertook in their youth. They were certainly courting the wrath of the law.  Tragedy and comedy are cousins, and necessity has always been the mother of invention. Our girls in this story have found it necessary to be very inventive. Or else, where is the justice?   *  *  * Back in The Age of Romance, life is beautiful for Pippa and Jess. It is a time of happy-happy, lovey-dovey -- Pippa with Basil and Jess with Adam. They often go on double dates together. Our girls are even beginning to imagine having a double wedding, if Jess can persuade Pippa that she emphatically does NOT wish to wear a bridesmaid’s dress in psychedelic swirls of outlandish hue. Jess’s taste lies in a more practical expression: black jeans, t-shirt and lace-up oxblood Doc Martens. There clearly is still a lot of negotiating to be done on the question of wedding attire.  Their boyfriends, who are close mates, have not yet been consulted about this fantasy -- but hey, girls can dream, and there is no reason to believe anything will derail those tantalising dreams of perfect bliss to come. Speaking of ‘derail’, one of our girls comes within seconds of death by misadventure with a train, but that part of the story will be revealed farther down the track. Author Notes In NZ and Australia, a 'tool' is a slang word that can mean a fool or an idiot, but is more likely to refer to a male penis.

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