Excellent Christmas Magic Contest Entry Christmas Joys and Tragedies by dovemarie Christmas Magic contest entry Artwork by cleo85 at FanArtReview.com

I have celebrated Christmases that are full of joy and also full of sadness. One of my favorite Christmases was when I was 12 years old and my parents gave me speed 45 records of two songs I liked very much, "Those were the Days" by Mary Hopkin, and "Both Sides Now" by Judy Collins. I sang them over and over again while listening to them. This was back in the 1960s. However, in the 1970s, I would stay in my bedroom and sing Christmas Carols to myself on my record player. The records were instrumentals, and I would sing along with them. In the 70s and early 80s, I was unemployed and didn't get along with my family. I spent Christmas alone even though I was still with my family, living in their house. In Dec. 1975, my sister's husband attempted suicide the day after Christmas. I spent a lot of Christmases in psychiatric hospitals. In Dec. 1988, Dec. 29 to be exact, I was supposed to have a termination visit with my 2 and 1/2 year old son, and I was in an institution. I behaved badly, as a result, I wasn't allowed to go to the visit. I had mixed feelings about it - I wanted so badly to see him, because I hadn't seen him in five months, yet at the same time I resented the fact that a nurse from the hospital would have to go with me, and also that the pre-adoptive parents would "have to hang around" (the DSS worker's words) probably in another room so I wouldn't be able to see them. They were the ones who brought him to the DSS office for the visit. In Dec. 1989, I was still in the hospital, and some of the patients and staff, including myself, put on an abridged version of "A Christmas Carol." I played "Scrooge," because I was the only one well enough to memorize the part. I always liked acting anyway. In the 1990s, I spent Christmas alone in a mouse-infested tenement, spent it alone again in my new apartment that I had been living in for seven months, in Dec. 1991, but I also went to Christmas dinner at a church called Christ Church United in the 1990s. In Dec. 1992, I was charged with phone calling due to depression and anger, by two parties. I lost my volunteer job in that month, due to my being arrested for defaulting a court appearance, and for not coming in to volunteer two times in a row at a local hospital gift shop. In Dec. 1994, I expected an acquaintance to eat Christmas dinner with me that I had made in my apartment, but he didn't show up because of a personal problem. But Jesus shone his light in a candle that I had that I had been trying to turn on, but for some reason it wouldn't light up. Then all of a sudden it lit up by itself in my window! I knew then that it was Jesus sending His light to me as a miracle. In December 1997, I started work as a bell ringer for the Salvation Army, but got depressed one day after I'd been ringing only about an hour. I was depressed about my son, who was 11 years old, and I didn't know where he was or what he was doing. A few months later I heard some news about him, and that enabled me to continue with the Salvation Army up until this present year. I received strength from the Lord. I spent Dec. 1996 with my father in Florida, which turned out to be his last Christmas. In the holiday season of 1999, my sister saw me off to the airport in Florida with a bunch of insults. I cried all the way home. I'm still crying about it. In Dec. 2001, I participated in a play called "Medea." I was one of the members of the Greek chorus. I had been taking Speech for Theater, and received a grade of "A-." In the first decade of this century, I have been celebrating Christmas at a club for the recovering mentally ill. I have taken part in Yankee Swap and Secret Santa. We have karaoke coffeehouse, and the other day we had free calzones for breakfast from a local food bank. I sang "Merry Christmas, Darling" (Karen Carpenter) at a recital last week. I'm always looking for the magic of Christmas, behind every sorrow there is a joy. Author Notes Thanks to cleo85 for artwork

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