What Does Christmas Mean To You by country ranch writer
Artwork by avmurray at FanArtReview.com
Christmas used to be the most fantastic time of year for everyone concerned. Most folks over the years have changed their feelings of what the holidays mean. Do we seem to be just going through the motions to try and please everyone else? Do we cover up our own feelings of sadness and despair as to not bring everyone else down?
We cover up our feelings and just continue on pretending to be happy all the while wishing the day would hurry up and get over with.
It seems" The Magic Of Christmas" has disappeared for a lot of us. Christmas is supposed to be "The most wonderful time of the year." But for some this month can be lonely and isolated. For many of us, it brings stress, anxiety, and sorrow to both our hearts and our homes.
I feel very stupid feeling sorry for myself, it is no secret that many people in the world have it harder than I do. I keep trying to go through the motions but sadly the Christmas spirit is just not there. As I contemplate the meaning of Christmas, and the birth of the Christ child, I believe that family and going home actually has a deeper meaning than the song "I'll Be Home For Christmas."
The holidays are an emotional struggle for a lot of people. Yet we know that love and togetherness make us realize what Christmas really matters to us. This time of year, we remember people we've lost or are about to lose. We think about the people we love and how this affects their lives. We come to realize that no one's life is perfect. Christmas time can be the most bittersweet, highly charged time of the year. Sometimes the holidays bring back too many memories of loved ones who we miss dearly or will miss as time goes on.
This year is different for us, I am finding it harder to feel the Christmas spirit as I continue to process on a daily basis the news the doctor gave my husband that cancer has now spread through the rest of his body. I am deeply aware that many face conditions similar to ours and my heart goes out to each and everyone having to deal with this.
So if your Merry Christmas is feeling less than merry, you are not alone. Behind closed doors many others like me are facing a similar situation. Don't try to deny it because it is very real.
I try to remember what my Grandpa once said to me, and that is to focus on the happy memories you have made together. He said it will make you stronger to cope with the inevitable.
I know my husband is wearing his Christmas smile, but underneath he is dying inside and trying not to let on. The stage four lung cancer is running its course and I am painfully aware my family is mortal and that the Christmas magic is fading.
We are making memories with family and friends this year in hopes the New Year will bring with it hope. We will live each and every day as well as we can and thank God for each and every day we are allowed to be together. We are well aware that no one lives for ever and that our time here on earth is numbered. Only God knows when our time is up.
I thank each and everyone for standing by me and giving me the courage to let my hair down on here to rant and rave here. Writing for me is therapy and I find that if I can express my self here I can continue on being strong for my husband and anyone else who needs a few kind words of encouragement. As we become older we become wiser in how the expressing our feelings help and realizing we are not alone in our health issues and battles we face now and in the future. I don't know what the future holds for my husband and me but we will face it together! I hope everyone will have Happy Holidays from our house to yours.
country ranch writer
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