Pons and Ned meet at a dentist's office waiting room.
Pons: Hey, Ned. Glad you called me about going to the dentist. So you want me to hold your hand while this --- Dr. Dennis -- gives you the once over?
Ned: I s'pose. Got a card in the mail said I, or da current resident, ought to stop in fer a freebie check up.
Pons: When were you here last?
Ned: Last time I was HERE, this weren't a tooth-guy buildin', but Mrs. Dapoppalo's rasberrah patch.
Pons: Holy cow, Ned! This fellow Dr. Dennis has been here twelve years. Where did you go before then?
Ned: Ma used ta do my teethes at home.
Pons: Aunt Nelly was a dentist?
Ned: She was more a wad I'd call a pullist.
Pons: Gee, Ned. Have you ever been to a dentist?
Ned: Oh yeah. Granddaddy used ta brush my teethes after he done the shitlin pony and Barksalot.
Pons: I remember your folks had a Shetland pony. I don't recall a dog.
Ned: Barksalot had his own room upstairs. He were a bit ova rackloose.
Pons: When I came over you came from upstairs, were there two rooms up there?
Ned: Naw. I slept in the attic.
Pons: The dog slept in a room and you slept in the attic?
Ned: I thunk I gist said that, Pons. You got some ah dat laughin' gas a'ready.
Pons: No, I haven't been in yet. So your Grandfather would brush the horse's teeth, the dog's, and THEN yours.
Ned: Now wouldn't dat be dumb, Pons?
Pons: It sure would, accepting the whole concept anyway.
Ned: Barksalot was first, cuz he were older'n me. Then Me and THEN Black Beauty.
Pons: The pony's name was Black Beauty? Wasn't it beige and white?
Ned: I dun folla?
Pons: Never mind, Ned. How was Barksalot older than you?
Ned: Gosh, Ned. The critter aged seven years to my one. He coulda got a driver's license afore I coulda crossed da street on my own.
Pons: So you've never been to a dentist's office, like today?
Ned: Nope. Dis'll be ma first proofashional cleanin'.
Pons: I hope you don't have any cavities.
Ned: Shouldn't. I took a shurer and doused my sweaty places wit rubbin' alkeyhall.
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