Through water, I was given life
Floating in a ruby pond
below my mother's heart
Until the dam broke
and released me in the air
the first breath
followed by a cry
Mother's milk kept me alive
A drink of water by her side
no longer floating
but still imbibing liquid life
As a baby, I was baptized
Holy water dropped on my head
A choice of my parents
Some religious belief
Supposedly to save me
Not my wish
Water cleansed me
The shower cleared the playground off me
The messy clots underneath my fingernails
The mud between my toes
Our family was happy then
But life is not static
it changes with the tides
The ocean took my father
gone to sea for long periods of time
returned home
became a stranger
longing for his sea legs
Mother hated being alone
Sadness overwhelmed her
Whenever he would leave
She went the wrong way
She left us alone at night
My two brothers and I
She thought we didn't know
Where she went or what she was up to
Sadly
children aren't that naive
anymore
Dad came back in April
Mom could no longer hide
My baby sister was born the following month
Now anger and hatred
seperated
my parents
Severed my life
I ran down the stream
I learned the liquid lessons
of alcohol and life.
Stained water
changed my thinking
Fire water let loose my desires
Made me forget my morals
I almost drowned in my choices
I replaced lust for love
only to find true loneliness
lost in lucid luxuries
Alcohol became my friend
Allowing me my freedom
Assuaging my pain
I dived into deep despair
despondent
desiring
dependent
destroying my dreams
Rivers of tears
left visible salt paths
staining my face with sadness
I stood by the ocean
wondering how far out I would have to be
before I was unable to swim back
so that no one could find me
foolish
fish
food
floating
forever on the sea
The sun began to set
Brilliant oranges
Reds fading into pinks
Cloud reflecting blue
Overpowering beauty
Illuminated the sky
I walked back to earth away from the sand
I chose change
I awoke early the next day
It smelled like rain
I walked outside
waited for the storm
Instead
a gentle
rain
fell
refreshing drops
riveting off my forehead
running down my face
I didn't seek shelter
I sought life
I searched my soul
for solutions
For self-forgiveness
I was truly baptized
on that day
by nature
and heaven's water
My choice this time
rain
danced
I the
in
My life began
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