Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of sexual content.
tip: only read this cautionary preamble
if you're in no hurry to get to the funny and sexy parts.
be prepared, if you have patience (and low expectations)
for a painstakingly studied, sometimes muddied, praiseful,
faithful, and rambling deconstruction of the adoption
of history's most enduring reproduction option.
and, remember it's free verse, so don't
search for iambs or sculptured epigrams.
it's all in fun and written loosely
(but absolutely not abstrusely!) while drinking gin in my jacuzzi.
copulation is the whole world's way
to maintain and sustain population.
it may have started with adam and eve.
at least, that's what many jews and christians believe.
this new copulation thing was better than being in eden,
though they knew it, to do it, was to do it in, indeed, sin.
eden days were at an end, but copulation would become a trend.
the practice proceeded, and procreation prevailed.
few suspected that those facts were connected!
there was no sex education, no explanation,
no implication of a relationship between
copulation and impregnationship.
a plethora of pleasured participants found it fun,
but abundant abstainers got absolutely none.
(nor did the ambivalent who still hadn't begun).
now it's known copulation is good for your health.
but way back then, much diddling was done in stealth,
which made the birth rate abate during the great "sin-or-not-a-sin?" debate.
many were doing it, while others were eschewing it.
that's why there were far, far fewer people long ago.
(it was just as much fun as now, then, but the eschewers didn't know.)
a persnickety writer might research this "ode" for accuracy,
aim to pick at me indiscriminately, and he or she will get no flak from me.
obviously, it's intentionally specious, and equally clearly, it's facetious.
one can't produce what everyone favors.
(that's why there's jello in so many flavors).
in closing, i wish you good copulation...if you wish it, too.
it cannot be denied it is a fine multi-purpose pastime,
perfect to keep you occupied when you have nothing else to do.
or commonly, a recreational situation.
viva copulation, sensational titillation!
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Without the trimmings
Contest Winner
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Author Notes
Glossary:
copulation: sexual (not intellectual) intercourse
preamble: a preliminary statement or introduction
deconstruction: a method of critical analysis of literary language and other conceptual systems
epigram: a pithy saying or remark expressing an idea in a clever and amusing way
pithy: concise and forcefully expressive
ambivalent: having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something
eschew: abstain from
specious: superficially plausible, but actually not
Possible Reproduction Sequence: concupiscence...flirtation...fascination...participation...copulation..gyration...consummation...pollination...procreation
Possible Reproduction Sequence Glossary:
concupiscence: strong sexual desire
gyration: a writhing movement; a rapid and repeated motion on one's own axis
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