Exceptional Pons and Ned meet at the slopes (Read notes) Scenes : Scene at the Slopes by Bill Schott

Pons and his cousin Ned meet at a Ski Lodge. Ned: That's one steep hill there, Pons. Pons: The diamond slope is not for the faint of heart. Ned: What's that other one over there? Looks like that feller's goin' surfin' Pons: The snowboarders are fun to watch too. Ned: Looks like somebody's been buildin' a snow fort downhill there. Pons: Yes, that snowboarder will take on that halfpipe. Ned: He may want a full bowl afore headin' into that. Pons: He's goofy-footed. Ned: He may be stoked then. Pons: Goofy means he's got his feet inverted. Ned: Geez! What surgeon would do that just so's a guy could surf better. Pons: I mean his right foot is forward, which is backward. Ned: Sounds like you've had a toke yerself Pons: He's pulling a fakie now. Ned: This snowboardin' seems pretty sexually or-i-en-tated Pons: What? Ned: What was THAT! Pons: Wow! He did a flying sitzmark. Ned: I'd leave a stain in my drawers, fer certain. Pons: Hey look, Ned! They're having a Huckfest on the hill? Ned: Lord, this cold air must make these people hornier than three-peckered billy goats! Pons: Let's check out the diamond slope. Ned: Wonder what kind a canoodlin' is transpirin' here. Pons: The slope is practically empty. Looks like people have gone to see the biathalon. Ned: I imagine that's for the BI-ath-o-letes. Pons: Yeh, I guess. They have rifles. Ned: Come around me they'll need 'em. Pons: Look, Ned. It's getting late. Let's go to the lodge and listen to the speaker. Ned: Who is this guy? Pons: His name escapes me, but he's a four-way. Ned: Sounds like the cold air is getting' to you too, Pons.   Recognized Author Notes Image from Google Halfpipe. A vertical U-shaped structure sculpted from snow. Snowboarders and skiers use the opposing walls of the halfpipe to get air and perform tricks Huckfest is a big-air contest, formal or informal. Fakie. to ride backwards without facing the direction of travel Biathlon. A competition among rifle-bearing skiers which rewards skill in skiing cross-country and marksmanship. Flying Sitzmark. In deep snow, the skier launched forward and vertical, landed with his rear end first in the deep stuff, leaving a giant sitzmark in the snow. Goofy, Goofy-Footed. In snowboarding, riding with the right foot in front instead of the left foot, Four-way Skier. One who competed in downhill, slalom, cross-country and jumping.

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