Exceptional Just some random thoughts in random order. I Gotta Believe by humpwhistle

I believe I have friends in high places…oddly, none of them do.             I believe I’ll probably have to bribe Saint Peter.             I believe Newt’s plan for a moon station is lunarcy.  (Newt ain’t no JFK)                         I believe ‘liberty and justice for all’ are still just goals.             I believe my mirror keeps getting older.             I believe Lady GaGa is a soggy frosted flake.             I believe anything ‘served on a bed of lettuce’ doesn’t go with a shot of Jack and a beer back.             I believe poets are o’erly fond of contractions.             I believe the Star Spangled Banner is an out-dated, tattered anthem that should be replaced.             I believe I will be pilloried for suggesting such a thing.             I believe Washington, D.C. gives recycling a bad name.             I believe George Washington would take one look at his monument and say, “WTF?”                         I believe if I ever hear an angelic choir, Mavis Staples will be singing lead.                         I believe brownies without nuts are just cake.             And, I believe Cub Scouts without nuts are just Brownies.                         I believe I’ve given up believing in politicians.             Just as I believe politicians gave up believing in me a long time ago.                         I believe that same-sex marriages are just as liable to end in divorce as the other kind.  So what’s the big deal?             I believe Rosie O’Donnell, Roseanne Barr, and George Clooney never had a three-way.                         I believe dressing bodies for cremation is pretty silly.             Therefore, I believe I’ll be cremated in my tangerine Nehru Jacket.                         I believe that if you want world peace, it’s best to keep a small orbit.             I believe countries should lead by example too.                         I believe writing just for rankings is petty impersonation.             I believe reviewing based purely on payout is petty prostitution.                         I believe the price of gasoline will burn us all---until we turn it into a buggy whip.             I believe computer dating would appeal to me more if my penis fit a USB port.                           I believe HDTV simply clarifies why we call it the boob tube.             I believe the correct spelling is: Fullobluster.             I believe Nabisco should introduce Safe Crackers---in a combination pack, of course.             I believe Kleenex should change its name to God Bless, America.             I believe all the tea in China doesn’t amount to a hill of beans.             Actually, I believe nothing but a hill of beans amounts to a hill of beans.             I believe Starbuck’s baristas have a grande problem with the English language.             I believe Herman Melville should get a grande royalty from every Starbuck’s.             I believe if men wore short skirts, women would giggle all-the-doh-dah-day.             I believe a cold shower is next to Godliness.             I believe the middle finger has other uses.             Recognized Author Notes Just having some fun with a format I've used before. Watch---I believe an 'I Believe' prompt will show up right after I post this. I believe I'm screwed. hw

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