Exceptional The Eulogy I Wrote for my Grandson Our Family : Remembering DJ by Begin Again

How do I begin to tell you who DJ was and what he means to his family and friends? It's impossible to tell you how many people DJ touched and how many ways he did it. If you read his obituary, you'd learn that he was seventeen years old, a junior at Hononegah High School, that he had 2 brothers and 2 sisters, and a family full of love. He loved basketball, baseball, fishing, camping, and music. He loved anything with wheels; bikes, dirt bikes, 4 wheelers, race cars and cars. He was outgoing, courageous, friendly, and loved. However, what you would never learn from that newspaper clipping is the emotional ties that were broken that tragic day at Chicory Ridge. If I'm his teacher, I would have to be the professional and tell you that he was an average student, well liked, the class clown who always had a joke, the mediator who always tried to stop a fight, a polite and friendly young man. You wouldn't know about the lunch hours that he would spend talking to me about just about everything under the sun. You wouldn't know how I became reacquainted with my youth and race cars by listening to an exuberant teenager tell me detail by detail about how his dad, his uncle and he restored and raced a car. You wouldn't know that I'd offer to buy his lunch when he didn't have money but he'd politely refuse. So I'd give him five bucks, send him for my lunch, and tell him he could keep the change. He'd always have a joke or two to share with me and make my day a little brighter. A teacher usually says that he or she is lucky if they have an effect on one student. In my case, I would have to say that I was extremely lucky that one student, DJ, had a profound effect on me. He didn't set out to impress people or even to be the center of attention. DJ was a young man that you remembered and thought of even when he wasn't around. There's not a day that goes by that I don't miss him. He was like the son I never had! If I'm a Roscoe Police Officer, I'd have to admit that I first met DJ when he was in trouble. Usually teenage boys, especially ones that have been in trouble, are disrespectful and hateful to the police, but not DJ. Whenever I was out patrolling, I would always see DJ, no shirt-no shoes, riding his bicycle around town. He'd always stop, flash that beautiful smile, and say hello. I'd ask if he was staying out of trouble and his response was a smile and "Always." He was responsible for providing important information that assisted the Roscoe Police in solving several crimes. One day DJ brought his best friend to the station and told him he needed to confess to something he'd done. He said we had helped him and he wanted us to help his friend too. I can't drive through town without expecting to see his smile and that wave. A young man that always made me smile! If I'm the Hononegah school officer, I'd tell you that he was definitely one of a kind. Most students and staffers prefer to avoid the school police officer; probably people associate trouble with my office. DJ, on the other hand, stopped at my door everyday to tell me hello and ask how everything was going. The loss of DJ has left an empty hole in my day, every day. I miss that friendly smile and nothing can ever replace that. If I'm the psychologist at Hononegah High School, I'd have to tell you that in all the years that I have been working with students, helping them deal with a classmate's untimely death, I have never had so many children affected. Usually when a student dies, I have contact with students in the same class, sometimes a few others. However, with DJ it was different. DJ touched the lives of children in every class, no matter the age. From his youngest sister's friends to his oldest sister's friends, DJ's friendship showed no boundaries. Five months later, children in elementary, middle school and high school are still affected by his loss. DJ was everyone's Big Brother. If you needed a friend, he was there. If you needed a shoulder to lean on, some one to pick you up and dust you off, someone to give you the encouragement you needed, or put a smile on your face, DJ would be first in line. If I'm the family that lives in the home by the pond, we lost part of our family too. DJ had become part of our family when he started working on his 4-wheeler with us. We learned to love his smile and his big heart while he learned respect and kindness in return. We met because of the noisy 4 wheeler and gained a special love. During those four agonizing days, our hearts broke not only for our loss, but for the family we had gained. We opened our doors the same way we had for DJ and welcomed his family in. Now we will forever mourn our loss and we will never be able to forget those days and the pain we all shared. We were blessed by his friendship but sorrow is etched on our hearts forever. If I'm someone who thought it was a privilege to call DJ my friend, I would have countless memories of laughter, friendship, and caring. I might be the friend whose life was turned around, because DJ stuck by my side, keeping me out of trouble. When I thought I was a big shot and too cool to back down from a fight, DJ would talk me out of it and tell me it just wasn't worth it. When I'd get a crazy idea that was going to get me in major trouble, DJ was the leveled head that stopped me from doing it. DJ was my conscience, my strength, my leader, but most of all he was my best friend. Though I miss him terribly every day, it's a constant reminder to be a better man. If I'm his girl friend, I could tell you how he always made me smile. How I always felt special. While most teenage guys were playing the tough guy role, DJ was my teddy bear. When I cried, he made me laugh. When I was afraid, he held my hand. When I was happy, it was because of him. We had dreams about high school dances, graduation, college, about a future together forever. What happened to our life, our future? I cry myself to sleep every night, wondering why? If I'm the teenager that tried my best to save his life, I will never be able to forget that tragic day. Those moments are burnt into my memory forever. I will always wish that I'd been able to do more, even though I know I tried my best. I look at his family and see their pain. I will remember how a life so young as mine can end before its time. I will feel the hurt with his family that tragically became mine. If I'm one of the hundreds of friends on DJ's myspace, you'll find comments too numerous to list. Each and every one of them talks about the pain and the loss. Each and everyone remembers the love, laughter and smiles. I might be the one that said:     "I miss you terribly. You were the perfect friend." or  "It gets worse and worse every day. What happened to     it getting easier?" or  "You were such a respectful and good person. I'm     thankful you were my friend." or  "I'm so glad I had the blessing of meeting you this     summer before you were taken away." or  "You took a part of everyone's heart with you. We will     never be the same." or  "I need that smile. I need that goofy joke." or  "Please wake me up and tell me it's a horrible,     horrible joke. I can't live with out you here." or  "Please come back and make me laugh. It was a privilege     to know you, to be your friend." or  "Things are not the same without you. They'll never be     the same." or  "We miss you. We love you. Our hearts ache for you." or  "No one can take your place." If I'm a friend, the loss of DJ is unbearable. If I'm part of DJ's family, there are no words to describe my pain. You can not count the number of tears I've shed, the anger I feel, or the emptiness that fills my heart. Stand in my shoes as I kneel at his grave, unable to grasp why he is here. How do you explain the ache of not being able to hold him in your arms or hear his voice say I love you? How do you dream of his future and remember that there's none. How do I put into words the void that fills our hearts? Sit at our table and see the empty chair. There's no way to fill the space where DJ once sat. How do you explain the pain when you find an old tennis shoe, a catcher's mitt, or a silly little note? How do you look outside at the four-wheeler and not see him riding by. How will do you see the garden he planted or the grass he mowed and not look around for him. How do you have a family picture when one of you is missing? If I'm his uncle, I've lost a nephew; my friend and someone who was always there for me in good times and bad. I've lost a video game partner and a movie buff as well. DJ was growing into a wonderful young man. I lost the chance to witness him grow, graduate and start a family of his own. Losing DJ has left our entire family with an empty feeling that can't ever be filled. Every holiday, every birthday, every occasion, we are and will always be reminded that DJ is not every going to be there to share with us again. Losing DJ means I lost a part of me! If I'm his aunt, I lost a nephew; but more than that, I lost a special bond. I shared his childhood. I shared his growth into manhood. I shared his secrets. I shared his dreams. I lost the chance to share his future and all his tomorrows. On that tragic day, I lost his smile, his laughter, his friendship, and his love. Nothing can ever remove that pain and I must carry it forever. Every holiday, every birthday and every other day, I will look, but never see. Losing DJ means I lost a part of me! If I'm his big sister, I lost my brother; that special bond that siblings have. I lost my "punching bag," my softball catcher, my antagonist, my friend. I lost the chance to tell him one more time how much I love him. I lost the chance to say I'm sorry for all the fights we had. I lost the chance for him to see my wedding and to meet his first niece. How do you ever begin to understand that your brother will never be here again? It's not fair and I'll never understand why. It wasn't supposed to be this way; no one ever said he wouldn't be here for a long, long time. Losing DJ means I lost a part of me! If I'm his little brothers or little sister, I can't begin to understand. I cry myself to sleep at night wondering why. I can't hear a song or see his friends without being overwhelmed with pain. I see my parents and family so sad and I wonder if our family will be like this forever. How can we ever get over missing him and wanting what we will never have? He won't be there to catch ball, give wagon rides behind the lawn mower, or go camping. How do I explain that I'm failing in school because I miss my brother so much? How do I go from the honor roll to not caring at all? How can I talk about losing my brother when it hurts everyone so much? Our lives will never be the same. I lost his teasing. I love his strength. I lost his love. I lost my brother. How do you ever find words to ease the pain? Losing DJ means I lost a part of me! If I'm his Nana, I remember my handyman who could fix most anything. I remember his infectious smiles and wonderful hugs. I remember my first-born grandson who was growing into a wonderful young man. I remember the gut wrenching pain when I got the call that he was missing. I can't forget sitting at the water's edge, begging, praying, and pleading that he'd be okay. I can't ever erase the four long agonizing days that they searched and searched for his body. I can't forget that our family will never be the same. Nothing in this world will ever erase that horrible day, and our horrible loss. Nothing will ever let me hear my grandson say I love you, Nana. How do you ever try to explain the loss of someone so precious? There are no words to describe our loss. Losing DJ means I lost a part of me! If I'm his mom or dad, I can't take a breath or speak a word with out knowing what I have lost. We'll never plant a garden together again. We'll never build a race car again. We'll never go camping and tell stories about the fish that got away again. We'll never sing happy birthday again. Instead, we'll kneel at a grave and cry until we simply can't cry anymore. We can sit for hours and make scrapbooks and pictures. We can remember Christmas with all the presents. We can remember the Easter egg hunts and Halloween. We can remember sharing and loving each other in the past, but we can never have anything to remember in the future. There aren't any words for that! Losing DJ means I lost a part of me! DJ MADE A LASTING IMPRESSION ON ALL HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY. WE WILL NEVER EVER FORGET HIM AND THE LOVE WE LOST! Recognized Author Notes This is the eulogy I wrote for my grandson, Dana D. Beauchamp, Jr. on September 1, 2008. We will mourn our loss forever, but remember the love we shared. After posting "I Remember, Unable to Forget" for a contest, I decided to post this too. I hope if you read this, you will understand how loved DJ was by family and friends. Thanks you so much for taking the time to read about DJ.

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