- A new and exciting clubby Wendy G
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A new and exciting club by Wendy G

TB Botts, also known as Tom, is a self-confessed criminal.

Nothing major, I assure you, but he has been known to cut tags off pillows and mattresses – even when expressly warned NOT to remove the tags. He simply defies the instruction.

Of course, he is a free citizen, and he should be able to cut off tags if he so desires. Does it hurt anyone else?

Yet, he knows that this evil practice is being watched by the powers that be. You can read and enjoy his full confession in his story entitled “Am I a criminal?”


I think a club should be formed for all such petty criminals, because I too must make a similar confession.

If there are already two of us, then there are probably many more secret “cutters-off of tags”.

My confession? Well, I told Tom it was a secret – but he feels I should also admit guilt in this area of cutting off tags, as confession is said to be good for the soul.

So the following is a slight adaptation of my review of Tom’s story:


Bad man! Removing tags from pillows and mattresses!! Shame on you.

Now I'll tell you a secret. Sunny has a little toy monkey mostly green in colour with a squeaker inside. He enjoys playing with it and throwing it around.

Miss Seven always took a fancy to this toy and wanted to play with it, but I didn't want her to – because it was a dog toy.

She kept asking me to buy her one for herself. So – I went to Pet Barn and bought her an identical green monkey, to go with her other birthday gifts. Last Wednesday she became Miss Eight!

Of course, the green monkey had a tag which said, "Dog Toy ONLY". I cut it off. I couldn't have my son thinking I was buying dog toys for his special girl, could I?! Last night I heard a plane flying over ....( "They" are noting what I do!)


Along with Tom’s response:

Do you think the parents would mind that it was a dog toy? What are you going to do with Sunny's toy when the family comes for a visit? That might be hard to explain. The plane might be checking on you, better get prepared for a visit.


Now, as for the first question: I think my son is already suspicious but did not ask directly. Perhaps he did not want to think his own mother would buy dog toys for his children.

Because … here is my second confession: I also got a dog toy for Miss Two, who today has become Miss Three. Hers just looks like a soft toy, not so obviously a dog toy – it is also a monkey, a different colour. It also has a squeaker inside.

The tag on hers was also removed.

The two new monkeys had a lot of fun squeaking yesterday at their joint birthday party.

My unfeeling son has already threatened surgery on the poor little monkeys if they squeak at inappropriate times, too loudly, or too often! How very cruel. What a spoilsport!

Regarding the second question: I will hide the original monkey under my dog’s other toys in his toy basket (and hope he doesn’t choose that moment to go burrowing) OR hide it in my wardrobe.

I have yet one more thing to say. The middle sister will turn six in May. Now, would it be fair for the other two girls to have toy monkeys (ahem, dog toys) with squeakers in them, and not her?

So, hidden in my wardrobe, there is a third monkey, with a squeaker inside, waiting until May. I have already cut off the tag which reads “Dog toy ONLY!”

I will be listening for a plane tonight … we are not normally on flight paths!


Now, who else wants to join this club? Who is brave enough to admit they also cut off tags?



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