- Tex, the Texas Ghost Ranger by pome lover
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Halloween Humor
Tex, the Texas Ghost Ranger by pome lover




Yeah, I’m dead. Name’s Tex.  And I’m talkin’ to a fella ranger who’s about three quarters dead. At any rate, he ain’t long for this world as he’s mostly in the other one now. So he can hear and see me jus as if he was dead. Which he almost is.

A’course, I’m invisible, which is purty dern nifty. I kin wear my boots and spurs and nobody kin hear ‘em jinglin.’

Yeah, they can.

What? You’re tellin’ me you can hear ‘em but ya cain’t see ‘em? So, when I’m around live folks, they kin hear me jinglin’ and not know whar it’s comin’ from? Well, if that ain’t a blue ribbon idea! Ya know, I been thinkin …

I don’t know if ghosts can think.

Wadda ya mean?  ‘Course we can think. You’re thinkin’, and you’re almost a ghost. You were prob’ly thinkin’ of zombies. But, as I was sayin’ before you interrupted me, I been thinkin’ about going down to the border and joinin’ up with them fellas tryin’ to keep out all those folks comin’ from all over the world what ain’t s’posed to be here.

Good for you.

Yeah, them border patrol guys are in a world a hurt. They need some help. And I’m gonna give em’ some.


You’re askin’ what a dead ranger can do? We-ell, you ever seen me shoot?

You ain’t gonna be able to shoot. You’re a ghost.

Well, I been shootin’ all the years I been dead.

At what?

Rabbits, javelinas, snakes, you name it.

Was them ghost animals, like you?

They didn’t taste like no ghost animals.

Tex, if you dead, you can’t shoot nothin’ that’s alive!

Well, I wish you’d hurry up and die so I kin show ya!

I’ll see what I kin do. (cough, cough) Sorry, still here.

Hey, I know. Lemme shoot ya, since you’re almost gone, anyway, and then you’ll see what I’m talkin’ about.

Tell you what, Tex. Come back tomorra, and if I’m all the way dead, you can show me. Okay?

I don’t know. The coyotes mighta gotten you by then.

That’s a comfortin’ thought.

 Hey, If you let me shoot ya, then you can go down to thuh border with me! How ‘bout that?

Tex, you can’t do no good down there bein’ a ghost. I’m tryin’ to tell ya.

Okay. Well, I got another idea. You got your spurs on. I got mine. What if soon as you conk, we go down there on Halloween and scare them illegals. They’ll hear us jinglin’, but they can’t see us. Hey! We can moan, can’t we?

Yeah. He he, cough cough cough, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……

You gone? You dead?

Gimme a minute, will ya. Sheesh. I gotta get used to this.

Okay. It’s been a minute. Come on. Let’s go down to the border and moan and jingle.

It ain’t Halloween yet.

Close enough. Oh, boy, here we go!

Moan, moan, jingle jingle, ahhhhhhh, ohhhhhhh, jingle jingle jingle! OOOOOOO

   Musaeada – Arab for help!

Yahoooooo! We got em’ on the run! Jingle jingle jingle, woo-ha-haaaaaa


Author Notes
I have copied the Chinese letters for "HELP" 3 times on this page, (they copied on my story in Word,) but apparently, when I hit SAVE, it won't transfer here. Sorry. It was kinda cool.
You have to be sort of weird to like my sense of humor, I guess.
My sister keeps saying, "You always stop in the middle of the story. You never finish these things."
I've got a bunch of dialogs, and I love 'em.


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