- Mr. Fix Itby AliMom
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A menacing tale about home repair
Mr. Fix It by AliMom
    OCT - Halloween's Scariest <500 wds Contest Winner 

Artwork by Neilnap773 at

Ker-plop, Ker-plop... The sound of liquid hitting metal. Irritating. He was never very good at fixing things. More of a 'get-a-guy' than a 'honey-do'. He had tried.

He got out the big wrench, untwisted the handle, checked the washers...that was pretty much the extent of his plumbing knowledge. He'd have to get up and call the plumber again. 'Been out twice already. But that leak just kept on leakin'. Drip, drip, drip all night long. Funny thing though, it didn't leak in the daytime. Not even a little. He threw the covers back and huffed out of bed, placing his feet on the cold wood floor.

He'd called the plumber a month ago about that dripping pipe. 'Plumber swore it was fixed. But that night it was back again. Ker-plop, Ker-plop - all night long into the big, metal slop sink. The sound was driving him mad.

He called again. 'Plumber came out with all of his tools and gadgets. Didn't do a bit of good. All night long he listened to that pipe.

"Aaargh-aaag!" He kicked the settee across the room banging his toe, hard.

"I don't care what time it is," he screamed into the phone, "you get over here right now!" The plumber arrived about an hour later and inspected the leaky faucet.

"Mr. Thompson, I've changed the washer, the pipe, and the faucet. If the thing is still leaking, I don't know what to tell you. I don't see a thing wrong with it."

"Of course, there's something wrong with it, dang it! It's still leaking! Can't you see it, you durned fool!"

The plumber turned and began packing his tools away. "I don't know what to tell you", he repeated.

"Well, I know what to tell you! I ain't payin'!"

"Now Mr. Thompson, that's not fair, is it? You got me out of bed. I put in a lot of hours here..."

"And you didn't do the job right! You ask for money for a job, the job oughta be done right!"

"You still have to pay for labor!"

"I ain't payin'!"

"You listen here, I'll bring the law down on you. I'll call the cops. I'll..."

Mr. Thompson brought the heavy wrench down hard across the plumber's head. Once, twice, over and over again. The plumber collapsed at his feet in a heap. He stepped back breathing heavily.

"Aw dang," he said sullenly. "Now look what you done gone and made me do."
Hoisting up his bloody pajama bottoms he draped the body over the sink so the blood could drip into the basin. He stood listening for a moment.

Ker-plop! Ker-plop!

"Shoot," he grumbled. "Now I got to get somebody to fix that drip too."

As he headed into the basement for a mop, the handle on the sink turned, slowly, squeakily splashing water onto the plumber's corpse. A deep, resonant, evil, chuckle came from the faucet's mouth.

"Yes," it said with a snarl. "Get a guy."

OCT - Halloween's Scariest <500 wds
Contest Winner


Author Notes
We're all familiar with gremlins in our appliances causing break-downs and temporary outages. What if something worse settled into your everyday appliances? What if it got in the plumbing? What if, dear reader, it got into you?


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