Oh chair, oh chair, my lovely old chair
How often you welcomed my large derriere
You were ancient of days, scarred up and bruised
While I held you together with nails, glue and screws
And on your four legs I put rubber shoes
To keep you from sliding around
Oh chair how often I sat on your cold wooden seat
A comfortable spot for my big slab of meat
And I often thought, "well this is sure neat"
To sit on an old swivel chair
You were made out of wood, metal and glue
And then when you broke I felt kind of blue
But I didn't fret, nor did I cry or swear
For there were still three legs on my wonderful chair
And so I sat again
Now three legs are fine in almost all places
But here on a boat with it's limited spaces
And though it did work most of the time
It was always a struggle to sit
Oh chair, my dear chair, through no fault of your own
Your metal base rusted where salt water was sewn
Your wooden joints weakened (it happens with age)
So now it is time to turn a new page
And see what the future holds
You know my dear chair, I tried hard to fix you
Sometimes with nails and sometimes with glue
It never did work so what else could I do?
I had no choice but to buy another
It's true chair I'm cheap, or perhaps the word's frugal
And I happened to look on the search engine Google
But there's no chair just like you, and though you are broken
I hung on to your seat and words were then spoken
To my daughter Jen
Her husband Justin is a right handy sort
And who knows my dear chair, he might be a good sport
He might drill you and sand you and fill you with putty
With new legs on your seat you could be his new buddy
So don't despair chair, you've served me quite well
I'm quite sure you won't see that furniture hell
I'm sure you'll find life at the hands of the master
He'll glue you and nail you and fix the disaster
And now my dear chair, I bid you farewell
You served me so faithfully, your seat was just swell
Your legs were strong towers, your swivel sublime
But now my old friend, I'm afraid that it's time
To part ways. Thanks for the memories
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