Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.
The scene happens in a typical suburban living-room. This is a one-person show, and the actor is talking with himself about the upcoming Christmas celebration. On the table lies a small plastic Christmas tree. The person sits at the kitchen table and shakes a snow-globe.
Me: Travel plans?
Naughty Me: Cancellato!
Me: Family gathering?
Naughty Me: Interdito!
Me: Christmas shopping?
Naughty Me: Stay in line buddy, only 15 customers are allowed at once in the store.
Me: Work-out in a gym?
Naughty Me: Sure, work it out outside the gym in the comfort of your own home!
Me: Aqua jogging?
Naughty Me: Yup, Aqua Joking - pura vida, my friend! For now, put the aqua in a bottle and work it out, walking around the living room and shake it twice for good luck!
Me: Christmas party?
Naughty Me: Does anybody say Pajamas in front of a Bahamas poster? If yes, you and I are game!
Me: Christmas dinner?
Naughty Me: Macaroni and cheese! Oh, wait, it's Christmas; let's make it more festive: "Spaghettini con cheeselini"! I think this will look exactly like an la carte restaurant. Oh, wait; we need to make timeline arrangements for the Christmas dinner over Skype with our relatives from Romania.
Me: How are we going to do that? There are 9 hours time difference between Canada and Romania.
Naughty Me: We will ask them to have an early dinner, or shall we call it to breakfast?
Me: Midnight here at 10 am there?
Naughty Me: Yup, that will work. They have to adapt a little bit with our Christmas delay, or we will wait until the next day when it is dinner time over there and lunch over here.
Me: Christmas presents?
Naughty Me: Depends! If you are in Manitoba, you'll get nada! In other provinces, buy what you don't see and hope it might fit in the process. Viva, El Amazone that delivers straight to your door.
Me. It's Christmas still on?
Naughty Me: Yes, it will the best Christmas ever ... canceled! Dear God, can you please cancel the entire 2020 and get back in business in 2021!
Me: Why?
Naughty Me: Because of El mother fucker Covid! EL COVIDO, messed up with our Navidad!
Me: What's up with the broken Spanish?
Naughty Me: I am supposed to be in Mexico right now dancing with the fishes!
Me: I know, El Covido messed up il nuesto escapido tropical.
|
Author Notes
The broken Spanish was used with the intention of making this text a funny read. Merry Christmas!
|
|
