Satire Fiction posted July 25, 2020

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A shameful secret (852 words)

The Waste of Hatred

by LisaMay

The author has placed a warning on this post for language.
The author has placed a warning on this post for sexual content.

I was planning on taking this to my grave, and then it’d be an even deeper secret. I could tell you before I die, but I’d have to kill you afterwards – and then, of course, you’d be buried deep with my secret as well.

Nobody knows this secret but ME. I’ve kept it concealed and it’s driven me nearly crazy over the centuries, doomed as I am in a repetitive cycle of negativity. However, now I feel the time is right for me to open my Heart to you – to pour its contents on your unsuspecting heads like a libation, anointing you with cosmic insight. 

Or maybe I’m just taking a piss. You all know there is a balance in the universe, right? A symmetry of opposites: night & day; black & white; good & evil; big bang & whimper etc. The greatest divide is Love & Hate, and it’s so terrible when that happens in a Family. 

Haha – your pain, my gain! 

My brother got all the goody-goody genes, all laudably lovey-dovey attributes, while I was handed horrible Hate. Maybe I was adopted; that might explain it. Mum’s not around to tell me. Oh, that’s another divide: truth & lies. Unless… unless… ooh, this is a delicious possibility to contemplate: Maybe my brother was adopted and I am the true heiress of the Kingdom? Another suppressed bit of information? 

You’ll probably Hate me for saying this, but yes, I’m God’s daughter, and inadvertently I was given the power to spread Hatred. I have twinges of conscience sometimes. Don’t you just Hate it when that happens?

Rewind to an early conversation, when I realised I could make people Hate me, just for being different. (Seems my brother and I had something in common after all, but his point of difference they couldn't handle was Love.)  

“Hey Big Daddy, how the Hell am I supposed to get by with this particular power? I think you fucked up. I hope you can un-fuck things, too, not just be The Creator.”

“Watch your mouth... I Hate it when you talk like that! You silly Susej, just keep it to yourself! You can’t tell anyone I’m not Omnipotent after all. I didn’t mean for that to happen. My hand slipped. Maybe I wasn't holding my mouth properly. This is our little secret,” He replied.

Holy Mother of God, did he say LITTLE?? This is BIG!! Imagine if news of this got out – all those believers would have to find another Grand Wizard.

I don’t have everlasting Life like my precious brother; I have to endure never-ending Death. Anyway, it is what it is, so I just concentrate on my Hate-spreading. My life’s work is Hatred. I get overpowered sometimes, briefly, but I keep coming back. You’d have to give me credit for being persistent. I’m a professional. Some governments use me as a consultant. I’ve even got contracts. I work undercover quite often; I’ve got lots of disguises. I have to say though, I Hate how so much of my work these days is already being done by others. Even so-called Christians. All those amateur Haters are messing up my day. I’m very competitive; I Hate to lose opportunities. I could go on, but I Hate to leave you in suspense about the rest of the story.  

Now we get to the difficult part – the other part of the secret. It’s hard for me to tell you this, because it’s the most private and confidential part. Apparently I give a shit after all! Yes, I do worry about what you’ll think of me. I’m embarrassed to share this – it’s shameful and deeply incriminating. Such a juicy secret! There will definitely be consequences: I might even be stripped of my FanStory membership. I’d Hate that. 

I’ll take a deep breath and tell you…

I fell in Love – the complete crazy, cartwheeling catastrophe (with cuddles and creamy copulation). So this is how it feels: it’s heavenly! Hallelujah, Praise the Lord.

I was claimed by Love. It reached out its arms to enfold me. Aaaah… that feels better. (Have you ever noticed that “Hate” with an “aaaah” can be rearranged to spell “Heart”? Or that “heat” with an “aaaah” is “heart”? I thought not.)

Big Daddy and my brother were right all along about Love’s beauty and benefits. It's such bliss to feel so blessed.  

The only problem is, I fell in love with the Pope. Don’t you just Hate that? We did it here, we did it there; we did it in St. Mark’s Square (you can see why I have to keep my FanStory membership, to write poetry). A pigeon pooed on the pontiff, but he crossed himself and took it as a sign of good luck. We also did it in the Sistine Chapel. There aren’t any tourists there at the moment, but all those Old Testament faces looking at me from the ceiling frescoes were rather off-putting.

I guess I’ll be staying in Hell forever. At least I’ll have a cuddle-buddy. Life is hard – I Hate myself. 


A Deep Secret writing prompt entry
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