PUNNY or Not, Here I Come

by Reese Turner

That child of the “dual entendre”
Is the “PUN” of which I’m fond-ah.
Some say too much time be spent
On phrases of pure PUNishment.

“Au Contraire”, but that is the point:
DePUNS on meanings if sounds be joint.
Like when I PUNder what’s to drink,
Wife says, “EGGS-PRESSO, I think.”

“Don’t MILK the PUNch-line”, I reply,
She then quotes her nose, “Not eye!”
Just as sign language comes in HANDY,
Met a girl at the beach. Called her SANDY.

Who’s counting the hive? That bee me,
Saying, Two Bee or not two bee…”
My cat tells puns; they are CLAWFUL
She’s FELINE fine, PURRpetrator awful.

Repeating puns is rePUNdent, so
It’s not PUNny, just so you “NO!”
What’s a Mexican measure? INCH-A-LOTTA”
Is that sentence asleep, or in a COMA?

A cake tried to dance, but was PANNED.
Trump cheese block, “Make America Grate again”
A lawyer’s asset? His LIE-ABILITY for a fee.
Can you count on him twice? RE-LIE-ABILITY!

A religious fruit might be called a PREACH…
Preaching to ACQUIRE – TV clergy’s reach.
She cooks pie in shoes? Calls it COBBLER.
He who eats too much turkey? A GOBBLER.

To let Brits cook meat? That’s a MIS-STEAK!
A nervous Saudi is called a SHEIKH.
“Brevity is the soul of lingerie”, no towel!
Shakespeare was BARRED for “Murder most fowl”

Throwing my best HAR-PUNS your way
This is my FIN-ISH, so I say,
PUN-GENT jokes are PUN-TED, I’m told,
So, like pastry to go, “I gotta roll”.

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