General Fiction posted March 24, 2020 Chapters:  ...7 8 -9- 10... 


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Day 8

A chapter in the book The Corona saga

To mask or not to mask

by Iza Deleanu

The author has placed a warning on this post for language.



Background
I decided to document how this virus is affecting my sanity. So feel free to join me in this experience, I hope the reading will become funnier, then what I posted so far. Thank you for reading.
Day 7
March 23, 2020

I am one day behind. I know I got distracted, or should I say I was not feeling great and I got scared. Yesterday, I went at work as usual, and I started to feel sick: pain in my throat, chest and excessive tiredness. In Alberta we have an on-line self-assessment tool for COVID-19.

After I panicked for 30 minutes, because I couldn't find that precious e-mail with the link, I finally got it. I did the on-line test and based on that I was supposed to call 911. If you are extra bad, the other magic number is 811. They should think better about these numbers, I just might dial the extra hot one by mistake, and voila panic for all of us!

Shaking I said:" Get a grip on yourself, it's just the google hysteria; you know where you got everything you read." I dissolved a sachet of vitamin C in hot water, and I felt better, thanks God for autosuggestions. You know that thing that you mumble when you are scared :" You are fine, you are fine, YOU ARE FINEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, Damn it! Stop shaking I get vertigo!"

Yesterday I decided to get on with the reality and went shopping. The stores are still full. I get it and also sympathize and understand why the people who still needs to work in the groceries store are cranky. Nobody was wearing masks, they just had gloves, and I must the store was quite full. Nobody was practising the social distancing. I think we are still in denial here. Nobody takes this Lady Corona serious. They say, yup, "It's made in China so it has an expiration date". It has, for sure, your expiration date, and bye, bye mommy!

After my morning freak out, I don't care what people are thinking or saying behind my back, I am wearing the damn mask and the oversize gloves. What can I do? I couldn't find the small size, so now I am swimming in an XL pair of gloves, for which I am grateful. In time of crisis, whatever you have, is welcomed for your protection.

For example, on Sunday I went with my hubbie for a walk; the parks where full of people with no protective gear. I was the only one wearing one of those heavy masks: the famous 3M 8511 NIOSH TC-84A-1299 - N95, that has apparently something that makes the breathing easier. I have no clue what all those numbers and letters are standing for.
All I know is that it makes me look like an alien. Whenever I was turning people where laughing, I said to myself let's see who laughs later! Truth be told, a couple of months ago I used to be the one making fun of Asian people wearing masks in the middle of the winter for no apparent reason. The smarties: they knew what was coming and got extra training in how to wear this strange thing.

Did you know that the masks are one size fits all! I have a very small face and I am not kidding you they should make ones with glasses because it almost covers my entire face. Since I need also to wear glasses because I am blind as a bat, I am doomed. I feel like being in a constant furnace, because I don't see a damn thing, and I am just hearing my own breathing. I am an freaking walking hazard. Thank God, people are getting out of my way:  the only thing left for me to get hit on or by it's a fence, car or building.

The other problem is that I might end dead,because I don't know how to breath in this this thing; there are no instructions how to wear it. I don't know if it's washable, so I just clean it with disinfectant wipes every time I am taking it off. How do I know that I don't wear it backwards? For example, it took me three days to figure out where to put the second elastic from the bottom  or maybe top of the mask? Duh! It's not made for dummies like me!

Masks are hot commodities right now. The only place you can get them in Edmonton are from the health medical supplies stores. The other day, I went to pick up my thyroid prescription and when, I ask about masks, they offered me a bottle of disinfectant, saying very proudly that has Aloe Vera in it. I was lucky, because they just got a shipment. So, just like my beloved character, Jack Sparrow I decided to do the smart thing and," take what I can, never loose a chance." I took the battle and thanked God for this heavenly gift. Then my friend who is a doctor told me that Aloe Vera is protecting your hands. So, I got the best thing. Anyway, I don't know if it is protecting my hands or not because my husband stole it from me.  Now, all I got is just the... memory and the hole in my budget for buying it.

In Canada, the the numbers of hits are increasing! So stay two meters away from me: I am fat, cranky, and I need my AIRRRRRRRRRR!

Now let's go back to the masks. It's pure luck that me and my husband got them before the wave hit us. I bought them on 15th of February because we were going to Cuba, and Lady Corona was trading high in Asia. I thought that if one of those are ending up in my plane I am royally screwed.

Anyway, we got lucky. After we come back from Cuba, we heard that things changed over there too. The Italians tourists brought with them this precious visitor. What can we do, the Italians like to share? You can ask the Romanians about this gift...

My advice to you is: don't joke about it. Wear the damn mask and gloves for the peace of mind.

 


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