Humor Script posted March 6, 2020 |
Prize Patrol Strikes Again
Trolling For Suckers
by Begin Again
Hello Kelly Congratulations, Ms. Jessup. I’m Kelly from Publisher House It’s my pleasure to inform you that you’ve won an all-expenses paid vacation to Isle of Franco. Ms. Jessup Really? You must be joking? Kelly No ma’am. This is your lucky day. How are you feeling right now? Ms. Jessup Well, since you asked, the golden throne and I have become the best of friends today. Must have been that sauerkraut and sausage my scrambled eggs didn’t help. Kelly Oh! Ummm! I’m sorry to hear about your disposition. Ms. Jessup My disposition is fine! I didn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I never saw my bed. Kelly Right! Well, I was talking about the vacation, a trip of a lifetime. Ms. Jessup Trip of a lifetime, huh? Where is this Isle of Franco? Kelly I’m not sure of the exact location, but I know it’s a tropical paradise. Ms. Jessup Seriously, you don't know? My sister is a travel agent. I bet she can tell us. Kelly Well, I’m really on a time crunch I’d like to get you signed up before someone else grabs it. Ms. Jessup What? How can someone else claim my vacation if I won it? Kelly Your name was drawn for the vacation but you have to submit a check for $439.00 to cover bar fees and miscellaneous charges. Ms. Jessup I thought you said it was all-expenses paid? Kelly It is after you submit your check. Nothing else will be charged to you. Ms. Jessup What if I don’t drink? Kelly Well, your check covers miscellaneous charges. Ms. Jessup Miscellaneous charges? That’s vague. What else would I be paying for? Kelly Well, unless you live in the Miami area, of course, you would have your transportation, hotel charges, concierge tips, parking fees, dinner and taxi fees to get to the docks. Ms. Jessup So my check for $439 covers all of those things? Kelly Not exactly. Those charges would be your own personal ones.
Ms. Jessup Let’s see if I understand this! Everything is paid except for bar tabs, miscellaneous items and numerous charges including a hotel room, concierge tips, transportation, dinner, and parking fees. Is that correct? Kelly Oh, I forgot to mention the short cruise from Miami to the Bahamas. You will be responsible for purchasing that ticket. If you wish to share your vacation with someone else, you or your guest would be responsible for all their expenses. But just focus on that beautiful sandy beach with waves lapping at your toes while you sip on pina coladas. Ms. Jessup Pina Coladas that I have to pay for, correct? Kelly Come on, Ms. Jessup, don’t be so negative. Think about - Ms. Jessup All the money I have to pay out for this all-expenses paid trip? Kelly Think about all the memories and the relaxing time you will have. Ms. Jessup Actually, I’m thinking more about my bathroom and less about this trip. Oops! Glad we don’t have smell-a-phones Oh my…. We had the most fantastic time. Nine months later we had proof of all the enjoyment we had. Doesn’t that sound wonderful? Ms. Jessup Not really! My babies are four-legged.
Kelly Four-legged? but you would have an exciting time regardless. Ms. Jessup One question - you and your husband went on this trip and had such a magnificent time, but you can’t remember where it’s located? Kelly Guess we had too many of those tropical drinks. Ha Ha! So what do say, can we complete this vacation form and get you scheduled? Ms. Jessup I think I should let you talk to my husband, Police Sergeant Mike Jessup. Just one second, I’ll get him. Kelly Oh, Ms. Jessup, I am so sorry, but my boss just said someone beat you to it. They’ve signed up and you unfortunately have missed out. Have a great day! Bye! They Could Have Said... contest entry
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