| General Script posted January 26, 2020 |
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one-scene script with Pons and Ned
Scene at the Animal Shelter
by Bill Schott
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Pons and Ned arrive at the county animal shelter looking for a pet for Ned. They both walk through the front door and stop at an office window. There is a man sitting there. Pons: Hello, sir. We would like to -- Officer: Need to renew a dog license? Pons: No, sir. We would like to -- Officer: Cat license? Pons: Ah - no. We -- Officer: Exotic animal permit? Ned: (Stepping forward) Hey, dude. We'd like ta see some critters so's I kin git me a pet. Officer: Sure, buddy. You're just in time. Tonight is the big sleep for canines. Pons: Oh no! Are you going to gas them? Officer: Yep. A couple dozen will go out after midnight. Ned: Couldn't ya jis sing 'em a lullaby there, chief? Pons: They're not putting them to sleep for the night, Ned. Ned: Oh, I git it. Jis calmin' 'em down fer a trip ta the puppy farm; right? Pons: No, Ned. They are -- Officer: About 56 percent of dogs and 71 percent of cats that enter animal shelters are euthanized. More cats are euthanized than dogs because they don't have any owner identification. Of course, 25 percent of dogs and 24 percent of cats that enter animal shelters are adopted. You want to see some dogs or not? Ned: Sounds like these fellers are makin' the dogs and cats younger, Pons. Pons: Euthanasia isn't about youth, Ned. (Sighs) Nevermind. (Talking to the man) Do you have cats as well? Ned: Yeah! Ya got a black panther back there, er a talkin' ferret? Pons: Parrot, Ned. Ned: Okay, yeah. Pons here wants ta look at any parrots ya got. Officer: We don't have any ferrets or birds of any kind. There are no damn panthers. Just dogs and a half a dozen cats. Pons: Okay, we'd like to see them. To be continued...
Thanks to Anne for use of the artwork Facts about euthanasia from Google. 
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