General Fiction posted December 22, 2019 |
Inspired by R. Zimmerman
Who Ordered These?
by lauralumummu
This is absurd... Contest Winner
This is absurd! Another package from Walmart. The fourth one this week. At first, I thought maybe it was a surprise Christmas present from my husband. I knew I didn't order anything there. My husband quite often bought things from Walmart but I only used Amazon.
By the time the fourth package arrived, I was even more perplexed. I opened the first one. it contained 50 'lbs' of Bentley's favorite dog food. The second one, a bag of tennis balls, Bentley's favorite toys. The third, a diamond-studded dog collar, and leash. Things were getting stranger and stranger.
I was confused about who could have ordered all this stuff. My husband insisted he knew nothing about it. There was no one else that would buy stuff for our dog. it was too expensive for one thing and had never happened before.
That afternoon, the doorbell rang again. Guess what? A huge bag of dog treats. I looked over at Bentley as I opened the package and he smiled at me sheepishly.
Now our dog, Bentley, is supposed to be a cockapoo but looks like a cocker spaniel and is as strong as a bulldog. We can't walk him easily because he pulls like an ox. He is also quite precocious, but I am sure he can't read or talk. Dogs don't speak, right? How could it be him?
I had to get to the bottom of this!
That night, pretending to go to bed, I tiptoed downstairs in my bare feet. Being quiet is not an easy task in our old house as it creaks and squeaks. Hiding behind the large armchair in the living room it was freezing. I had turned the thermostat down at bedtime to save on the heating bill. We have a wood stove as well but it was cold by now. While shivering in my nightie and peering out, I could see the computer and phone, if I just angled myself right. Soon I heard the pitter-patter of dog paws. It was Bentley. He crept over to the computer desk looking around to see if the coast was clear. Being intent on his purpose, he never spotted me crouched behind the chair.
Hopping up on the computer chair, he put my glasses on with his nose. Then he turned the computer on with his paws. When the screen came on he pressed the Walmart icon and waited. Pictures came up and he pressed the ones he liked and then pressed one-click pay. I was astonished. Creeping closer, I could see the order read, assorted dog toys from Walmart.ca. I thought I could hear him growling: " Jingle bells, jingle bells," just under his breath.
I was speechless, trying to scream at Bentley. No words came out. Suddenly I opened my eyes and shook my head. I had been dreaming. It seemed so real!
The next day while telling my husband all about my crazy dream and laughing, the doorbell rang. It was Walmart with a box of dog biscuits. Bentley barked and ran around in circles and I thought I heard, " bark, bark, bells jingle all the way."
This is really absurd. We both looked at each other and felt like we were going crazy. I was a little afraid of Bentley because this was getting really strange.
I tried to keep my mind on normal things while wrapping presents. Every once and a while I'd glance over at Bentley expecting him to speak or do something unusual. But he was just up to his usual doggy tricks, quite happy and affectionate.
That night the phone rang. It was our daughter, asking if we received the dog biscuits, she sent Bentley as her dog couldn't eat them. I laughed and laughed until tears ran down my face. My daughter couldn't understand the joke. I couldn't explain it to her without breaking into fits of giggles.
My husband took the phone and told her all that had transpired. She said we were going senile and maybe we should get a checkup. Of course, she knew a therapist she could recommend.
We looked at each other and then at Bentley, laughing hysterically while hanging up the phone.
This is absurd! Another package from Walmart. The fourth one this week. At first, I thought maybe it was a surprise Christmas present from my husband. I knew I didn't order anything there. My husband quite often bought things from Walmart but I only used Amazon.
By the time the fourth package arrived, I was even more perplexed. I opened the first one. it contained 50 'lbs' of Bentley's favorite dog food. The second one, a bag of tennis balls, Bentley's favorite toys. The third, a diamond-studded dog collar, and leash. Things were getting stranger and stranger.
I was confused about who could have ordered all this stuff. My husband insisted he knew nothing about it. There was no one else that would buy stuff for our dog. it was too expensive for one thing and had never happened before.
That afternoon, the doorbell rang again. Guess what? A huge bag of dog treats. I looked over at Bentley as I opened the package and he smiled at me sheepishly.
Now our dog, Bentley, is supposed to be a cockapoo but looks like a cocker spaniel and is as strong as a bulldog. We can't walk him easily because he pulls like an ox. He is also quite precocious, but I am sure he can't read or talk. Dogs don't speak, right? How could it be him?
I had to get to the bottom of this!
That night, pretending to go to bed, I tiptoed downstairs in my bare feet. Being quiet is not an easy task in our old house as it creaks and squeaks. Hiding behind the large armchair in the living room it was freezing. I had turned the thermostat down at bedtime to save on the heating bill. We have a wood stove as well but it was cold by now. While shivering in my nightie and peering out, I could see the computer and phone, if I just angled myself right. Soon I heard the pitter-patter of dog paws. It was Bentley. He crept over to the computer desk looking around to see if the coast was clear. Being intent on his purpose, he never spotted me crouched behind the chair.
Hopping up on the computer chair, he put my glasses on with his nose. Then he turned the computer on with his paws. When the screen came on he pressed the Walmart icon and waited. Pictures came up and he pressed the ones he liked and then pressed one-click pay. I was astonished. Creeping closer, I could see the order read, assorted dog toys from Walmart.ca. I thought I could hear him growling: " Jingle bells, jingle bells," just under his breath.
I was speechless, trying to scream at Bentley. No words came out. Suddenly I opened my eyes and shook my head. I had been dreaming. It seemed so real!
The next day while telling my husband all about my crazy dream and laughing, the doorbell rang. It was Walmart with a box of dog biscuits. Bentley barked and ran around in circles and I thought I heard, " bark, bark, bells jingle all the way."
This is really absurd. We both looked at each other and felt like we were going crazy. I was a little afraid of Bentley because this was getting really strange.
I tried to keep my mind on normal things while wrapping presents. Every once and a while I'd glance over at Bentley expecting him to speak or do something unusual. But he was just up to his usual doggy tricks, quite happy and affectionate.
That night the phone rang. It was our daughter, asking if we received the dog biscuits, she sent Bentley as her dog couldn't eat them. I laughed and laughed until tears ran down my face. My daughter couldn't understand the joke. I couldn't explain it to her without breaking into fits of giggles.
My husband took the phone and told her all that had transpired. She said we were going senile and maybe we should get a checkup. Of course, she knew a therapist she could recommend.
We looked at each other and then at Bentley, laughing hysterically while hanging up the phone.
By the time the fourth package arrived, I was even more perplexed. I opened the first one. it contained 50 'lbs' of Bentley's favorite dog food. The second one, a bag of tennis balls, Bentley's favorite toys. The third, a diamond-studded dog collar, and leash. Things were getting stranger and stranger.
I was confused about who could have ordered all this stuff. My husband insisted he knew nothing about it. There was no one else that would buy stuff for our dog. it was too expensive for one thing and had never happened before.
That afternoon, the doorbell rang again. Guess what? A huge bag of dog treats. I looked over at Bentley as I opened the package and he smiled at me sheepishly.
Now our dog, Bentley, is supposed to be a cockapoo but looks like a cocker spaniel and is as strong as a bulldog. We can't walk him easily because he pulls like an ox. He is also quite precocious, but I am sure he can't read or talk. Dogs don't speak, right? How could it be him?
I had to get to the bottom of this!
That night, pretending to go to bed, I tiptoed downstairs in my bare feet. Being quiet is not an easy task in our old house as it creaks and squeaks. Hiding behind the large armchair in the living room it was freezing. I had turned the thermostat down at bedtime to save on the heating bill. We have a wood stove as well but it was cold by now. While shivering in my nightie and peering out, I could see the computer and phone, if I just angled myself right. Soon I heard the pitter-patter of dog paws. It was Bentley. He crept over to the computer desk looking around to see if the coast was clear. Being intent on his purpose, he never spotted me crouched behind the chair.
Hopping up on the computer chair, he put my glasses on with his nose. Then he turned the computer on with his paws. When the screen came on he pressed the Walmart icon and waited. Pictures came up and he pressed the ones he liked and then pressed one-click pay. I was astonished. Creeping closer, I could see the order read, assorted dog toys from Walmart.ca. I thought I could hear him growling: " Jingle bells, jingle bells," just under his breath.
I was speechless, trying to scream at Bentley. No words came out. Suddenly I opened my eyes and shook my head. I had been dreaming. It seemed so real!
The next day while telling my husband all about my crazy dream and laughing, the doorbell rang. It was Walmart with a box of dog biscuits. Bentley barked and ran around in circles and I thought I heard, " bark, bark, bells jingle all the way."
This is really absurd. We both looked at each other and felt like we were going crazy. I was a little afraid of Bentley because this was getting really strange.
I tried to keep my mind on normal things while wrapping presents. Every once and a while I'd glance over at Bentley expecting him to speak or do something unusual. But he was just up to his usual doggy tricks, quite happy and affectionate.
That night the phone rang. It was our daughter, asking if we received the dog biscuits, she sent Bentley as her dog couldn't eat them. I laughed and laughed until tears ran down my face. My daughter couldn't understand the joke. I couldn't explain it to her without breaking into fits of giggles.
My husband took the phone and told her all that had transpired. She said we were going senile and maybe we should get a checkup. Of course, she knew a therapist she could recommend.
We looked at each other and then at Bentley, laughing hysterically while hanging up the phone.
This is absurd... Contest Winner |
Recognized |
Bentley is really our dog, but everything else is just absurd.
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