General Poetry posted December 6, 2019

This work has reached the exceptional level
For Potlatch Poetry

Don't Touch Me!

by damommy

I have a fear I can’t seem to defeat,
a horrifying, deep-ingrained aversion.
When in control, enjoyment is complete,
‘cause I don’t like to be forced in immersion.
A peaceful place to go for a diversion,
I love the rivers, lakes.  They’re quite a treat,
and I don’t wish to cast any aspersion.
I have a fear I can’t seem to defeat.
From every day routine and boring beat,
I do enjoy a willing, mild submersion.
But terror strikes, if thrown in head to feet,
a horrifying, deep-ingrained aversion.
I look a drowning rat upon emersion.
Whoever threw me in had best be fleet,
And should be planning their own quick dispersion.
When in control, enjoyment is complete,
and I choose how my body, water meet.
If that is taken from me, my reversion
is anything but nice or mild or sweet,
‘cause I don’t like to be forced in immersion.
As breath returns to me, it’s time to greet
the one who threw me in.  He’d best retreat,
for when I’m through, he’ll be a brand new version
of what he was before – I’ll be discreet.
I have a fear.




Instructions taken from

The rondeau redouble is not an easy form to write. It uses only two rhymes throughout, repeats whole lines, and has an awkward repeated half-line at the end. Let's look at an example.
The first stanza is the key to the whole poem. Its four lines reappear in turn as the final lines of the next four stanzas, and the first part of the first line reappears again as the half-line at the very end. Each stanza rhymes either abab or baba. For the sixth stanza, either is possible.
To write one of these, start with the final half-line, then do the opening stanza, and you're half-way there.
The blessed Malcovati, curse him, tells us that one of the two rhyme groups in a rondeau redouble must be masculine and the other feminine. (The example he gives appears not to satisfy this rule or perhaps my French is not good enough to appreciate the way in which it does.) Anyway, if he is to be believed (and he usually is ) the above is not a true example of the form after all. It still seems good enough to me, though.

Club entry for the "Rondeau Redouble--week of 12-6-2019" event in "Potlatch Poetry".  Locate a writing club.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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