| General Fiction posted August 22, 2019 |
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A gereration of fatherless boys will soon be fathers.
A Fatherless Man
by papa55mike
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I pull the curtain back to see the night sky, and of course, it's cloudy. My life has been that since Tina told me she was pregnant. On the one hand, I'm elated! On the other hand, I'm petrified!
"How can I be a father when I didn't have one growing up to learn from?"
Walking down the hall past our bedroom, I'm listening to Tina sleep. She had a hard life growing up. Her mother escaped an abusive husband and fled from Arkansas to Ohio. I never understood why Tina's mother put her up for adoption and went back to that evil man.
"That's the reason why I want to get this dad thing, right."
Tina deserves a great husband. One man that didn't let her down, like too many others have in the past. But do I have the courage to step forward and be that man?
"I don't know?"
I finally reach my destination, the recliner I've slept in the last three nights - if you can call a parade of questions through my mind with full brass and percussion marching band - sleep.
With all of this worry, you would think I could figure one thing out. No! All it proves is that I don't have the answers.
I've seen too many documentaries on the fatherless generation that I'm a part of now. Do all of us have this fear of not being enough? Whatever the enough is? That's the one truth we will never know until we're there.
Those are the unanswerable questions. That's not including the simple ones, like; can I change a poopie diaper without gagging or when to spank my son, if it's a boy.
What if it's a girl? That's an entirely different situation. Do I change her diapers at all, or will they call me a pervert if I do? How will I be able to pick out a girl's clothes when I can't dress my self?
I hear Tina turn over. She's doing her baby snore now.
"Dear Lord, I love that woman!" I feel the tears welling in my eyes. "All I can do is hold on and trust God."
I pull the curtain back to see the night sky, and of course, it's cloudy. My life has been that since Tina told me she was pregnant. On the one hand, I'm elated! On the other hand, I'm petrified!
"How can I be a father when I didn't have one growing up to learn from?"
Walking down the hall past our bedroom, I'm listening to Tina sleep. She had a hard life growing up. Her mother escaped an abusive husband and fled from Arkansas to Ohio. I never understood why Tina's mother put her up for adoption and went back to that evil man.
"That's the reason why I want to get this dad thing, right."
Tina deserves a great husband. One man that didn't let her down, like too many others have in the past. But do I have the courage to step forward and be that man?
"I don't know?"
I finally reach my destination, the recliner I've slept in the last three nights - if you can call a parade of questions through my mind with full brass and percussion marching band - sleep.
With all of this worry, you would think I could figure one thing out. No! All it proves is that I don't have the answers.
I've seen too many documentaries on the fatherless generation that I'm a part of now. Do all of us have this fear of not being enough? Whatever the enough is? That's the one truth we will never know until we're there.
Those are the unanswerable questions. That's not including the simple ones, like; can I change a poopie diaper without gagging or when to spank my son, if it's a boy.
What if it's a girl? That's an entirely different situation. Do I change her diapers at all, or will they call me a pervert if I do? How will I be able to pick out a girl's clothes when I can't dress my self?
I hear Tina turn over. She's doing her baby snore now.
"Dear Lord, I love that woman!" I feel the tears welling in my eyes. "All I can do is hold on and trust God."
"How can I be a father when I didn't have one growing up to learn from?"
Walking down the hall past our bedroom, I'm listening to Tina sleep. She had a hard life growing up. Her mother escaped an abusive husband and fled from Arkansas to Ohio. I never understood why Tina's mother put her up for adoption and went back to that evil man.
"That's the reason why I want to get this dad thing, right."
Tina deserves a great husband. One man that didn't let her down, like too many others have in the past. But do I have the courage to step forward and be that man?
"I don't know?"
I finally reach my destination, the recliner I've slept in the last three nights - if you can call a parade of questions through my mind with full brass and percussion marching band - sleep.
With all of this worry, you would think I could figure one thing out. No! All it proves is that I don't have the answers.
I've seen too many documentaries on the fatherless generation that I'm a part of now. Do all of us have this fear of not being enough? Whatever the enough is? That's the one truth we will never know until we're there.
Those are the unanswerable questions. That's not including the simple ones, like; can I change a poopie diaper without gagging or when to spank my son, if it's a boy.
What if it's a girl? That's an entirely different situation. Do I change her diapers at all, or will they call me a pervert if I do? How will I be able to pick out a girl's clothes when I can't dress my self?
I hear Tina turn over. She's doing her baby snore now.
"Dear Lord, I love that woman!" I feel the tears welling in my eyes. "All I can do is hold on and trust God."
The picture is my grandson Cody holding my great-grandson Coltan.
Many young men are facing these problems right now. I never knew my father; he left when I was one. I did the best I could do trying to be a father, but it would have been nice to have a little guidance. Pray for our young fathers.
Many thanks for stopping by to read.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. Many young men are facing these problems right now. I never knew my father; he left when I was one. I did the best I could do trying to be a father, but it would have been nice to have a little guidance. Pray for our young fathers.
Many thanks for stopping by to read.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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