General Poetry posted August 18, 2019

This work has reached the exceptional level
A pun-ishing poem for your perusal.

You Can Nibble My Prawn

by LisaMay

Pun-ting on the Thames Contest Winner 

Whale, hello there – now, just for the halibut, 
I thought I’d enter my verse.
’Tis the summer sea-sun, and it’s about to get worse!
Did I beach you to it? 
C’mon – let’s do it!
Salmon told me you like to have fun...
Seas the day! Girls just wanna have sun!
I love the beach; can I be any more Pacific?
…or a pond, a river, or lake – all terrific.

I lake to pond-er the variety of life’s meaning,
and I enjoy watching rivers on live-streaming.
I take Vitamin Sea, now I am old and sea-Nile,
and I sometimes have sea-zures, just once in a while.
Thames the breaks, when our brain gets old,
it has a Rhine of its own, so I’m told.
Indus position makes me feel off-colour and sick,
but I’m a Tigris at heart so I get well quick.

Here is a story concerning a river in France –
a man tried to walk on water but got wet pants;
that river is in Paris – local police say the man’s in-Seine.
He was avoiding pier pressure, got washed down a drain, 
tried to go with the flow, swam into a wall and said, “Dam.”
(I might as well get hung for a sheep as a clam.)
Euphrates gonna hurt himself? Don’t worry about that,
he was singing ‘Amazon Grace’ with a water rat.
River jokes are funny, they make me smile –
a guy got drunk in Cairo, now he’s in de-Nile.
Miss Issippi is a friend of mine (she stutters a lot);
I like to go waterskiing behind her racing yacht.

I’m not squidding you right now, as we go back to the sea; 
life’s a beach, enjoy the waves, don’t you agree?
I can’t fathom your depths and I’m really not shore –
let’s not get tide down if you want so much more.
Where there’s a will there’s a wave – 
shell we dance until dawn?
If you’re not octopied, you can nibble my prawn.

Now let me pass on some good advice,
it’s a little bit Volga, and really not so nice.
(I’ve peed myself laughing, I really am crude;
it’s toilet humour if you’re in the mood.)
Here are two reasons, don’t drink from the loo:
Number one. And number two.


Pun-ting on the Thames
Contest Winner

Author's Note:
The photo shows the Big Prawn, located at Ballina, northern New South Wales, Australia.
It was designed to be 30,000 times larger than a real prawn. (We don't call them shrimps in Australia.)
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

Save to Bookcase Promote This Share or Bookmark
Print It View Reviews

You need to login or register to write reviews. It's quick! We only ask four questions to new members.

© Copyright 2020. LisaMay All rights reserved.
LisaMay has granted, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.